Song parody of
Crouchin' on the Outside
by Shel Silverstein
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One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey, Elaine, you're a little too late,
I'm standin' on the outside lookin' in at you on the inside,
Lookin' out at me on the outside lookin' in;
Through the window of my madness at a place I never been,
And you say you understand just what my trouble's all about,
But you're sittin' on the inside, playin' on the win side,
While I'm freezin' on the outside, in the what's-it-all-about side,
Lookin' in at you on the inside lookin' out.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey, Jim, let's talk about hate,
I'm walkin' on the white side lookin' 'round at you on the brown side,
Lookin' back at him on the black side lookin' down.
And we're mouthin' words of freedom but we don't make any sound,
And we clasp our hands in brotherhood and then go wash our hands,
While you're stayin' on the brown side, on the go-ahead-and-put-me-down side,
While I'm standin' on the white side, on the got-me-way-up-tight side,
Lookin' back at him on the black side lookin' back.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey, Claude, don't bother to wait,
You're cruisin' on the gay side, lookin' straight at me on the straight side,
Lookin' way at you on the gay side lookin' straight;
And you're screamin' from the rooftops 'bout the pleasures that won't wait,
And your closet's full of queenly gowns for extra special dates,
And you're campin' on the gay side, on the c'mon-out-and-play side,
While I'm over on the trick side, on the got-to-find-a-chick side,
Lookin' way at you on the gay side lookin' straight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey Miss, hallucinate,
You're boppin' on the hip side,
Laughin' at me on the flip side,
Chasin' after you on the hip side losin' my grip;
And you're walkin' on a tightrope and you're tryin' not to slip,
And you say you found out where it's at and give it all a try,
So you're groovin' on the hip side, in the come-and-take-a-trip side,
While I'm movin' on the square side, in the show-me-when-and-where side,
Chasin' after you on the hip side lookin' high.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey, Elaine, you're a little too late,
I'm standin' on the outside lookin' in at you on the inside,
Lookin' out at me on the outside lookin' in;
Through the window of my madness at a place I never been,
And you say you understand just what my trouble's all about,
But you're sittin' on the inside, playin' on the win side,
While I'm freezin' on the outside, in the what's-it-all-about side,
Lookin' in at you on the inside lookin' out.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey, Jim, let's talk about hate,
I'm walkin' on the white side lookin' 'round at you on the brown side,
Lookin' back at him on the black side lookin' down.
And we're mouthin' words of freedom but we don't make any sound,
And we clasp our hands in brotherhood and then go wash our hands,
While you're stayin' on the brown side, on the go-ahead-and-put-me-down side,
While I'm standin' on the white side, on the got-me-way-up-tight side,
Lookin' back at him on the black side lookin' back.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey, Claude, don't bother to wait,
You're cruisin' on the gay side, lookin' straight at me on the straight side,
Lookin' way at you on the gay side lookin' straight;
And you're screamin' from the rooftops 'bout the pleasures that won't wait,
And your closet's full of queenly gowns for extra special dates,
And you're campin' on the gay side, on the c'mon-out-and-play side,
While I'm over on the trick side, on the got-to-find-a-chick side,
Lookin' way at you on the gay side lookin' straight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
Hey Miss, hallucinate,
You're boppin' on the hip side,
Laughin' at me on the flip side,
Chasin' after you on the hip side losin' my grip;
And you're walkin' on a tightrope and you're tryin' not to slip,
And you say you found out where it's at and give it all a try,
So you're groovin' on the hip side, in the come-and-take-a-trip side,
While I'm movin' on the square side, in the show-me-when-and-where side,
Chasin' after you on the hip side lookin' high.
