If

If I was your tv I'd be like "Look at me" If I was a shooting star I'd be like "Peace!" If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like "Hell naw!' If I was a hotties thong I'd be like "Awwww..." If I was a cuss word I'd just be like "fuck" If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like "Sup?" If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like "man this is bullshit" If I was the tires on your car I'd be like "NEEEAAAWWW" If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like "Aww fuck" If I was a balloon I'd be like "pap" If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say "the point 103" If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like "umm...ok" If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like "fuck us! And I won't read this, even us motherfucker!" If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like "THONNNKK!!" If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like "Man why do you try to bite me every time we try to eat?" If I was a chair I'd be like "Sit here" If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair If I was your muffler I'd be like "Shhh, quietly" If I was a price tag I'd be like "You ain't buying me" If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like [records scratch] If I was Jam Master J I'd be like [records scratch] If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static] "Tune that motherfucker in" If I was Barry White I'd be like "What up y'all?" If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like "Boing" If I was your dead uncle I'd be like "....." If I was a raindrop I'd just be like "drip" And If I had an ax to your neck I might say "CHOP!" [Chorus] If I was, if I was, but I'll never be If I was, if I was, but I'll never be If I was, if I was, but I'll never be If I was, if I was, but I'll never be If I was, if I was, but you're killing me If I was, if I was. but you're killing me If I was a Faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into and ocean of juggalos If I was Andre The Giant "This is how I'd be talking" If I was Father MC I'd be like "Now what happened?" If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirror and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear If I was a slider I'd slide out your butt I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like "What?" If I was a pilot I'd be like "This is air traffic control" If I was John Denver I'd be like "Nooooooo!!!!" If I was a switch I'd be like "Flick me, yoo-hoo" If I was a London cop car I'd be like "Wee-oop wee-oop" If I was Chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fade If I was Vanilla Ice I'd be like "Fuck y'all. I'm still paid" If I was a stop sign I'd just be like "Stop" If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop [Chorus}