Song parody of

Sidney Wells

by Richard Thompson

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Sidney Wells he drove the country North to South On the walkie-talkie, shooting off his mouth All the lorry drivers thought he was a laugh They didn't know the truth, they didn't know the half Sidney Wells he had a lovely line in chat Before a girl could think he'd have her at his flat Dansette playing soft, a gin'll do no harm No one could resist Sidney Wells' charm Cheryl was a waitress at the works canteen Older than she looked, she'd pass for 17 Too pretty to be working such a lousy job Beauty queen smile, hair cut in a bob Sidney Wells' rig came weaving down the road At Hennessy and Sons he dropped his heavy load Cheryl checked her makeup, looked up at the clock She had a date with Sidney at the loading dock He led her to the woods, the sky was getting dark She thought it was romantic, thought it was a lark Buried in her mind there rang a small alarm But no one could resist Sidney Wells' charm Then he took off her clothes and threw them in a pile He watched her stand there cold and shivering for a while Then he picked up her stocking lying on the floor And wrapped it round her neck until she breathed no more He tried to burn the body, he didn't do it well Up on a pile of tires, it was an awful smell They found her poor remains and summoned the bereft And took her to the church to bury what was left Now Sidney Wells he was a heartless kind of rake The blood within his veins was colder than a snake He didn't run, he carried on just like before Until the CID came knocking at the door The judge said, Mr Wells, the evidence is strong Said Wells, "I'll not deny, what took you all so long? All you see is victims, all I see is brides I'm guilty to the gills, and 7 more besides." They took him to the jail, ready for the worst Justice would be served, but who would get there first? He bled just like a pig slaughtered on the farm The inmates weren't impressed by Sidney Wells' charm

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Sidney Wells

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A Mystery Box
B Steal My Girl
C Drag Me Down
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