Song parody of
Before He Cheats
by Carrie Underwood
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Right now, he's probably slow dancing
With a bleached-blond tramp
And she's probably getting frisky
Right now, he's probably buying
Her some fruity little drink
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey
Right now, he's probably up behind her
With a pool-stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don't know
[Chorus]
I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
And he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky
Right now, he's probably
Dabbing on three dollars
Worth of that bathroom Polo
Oh, and he don't know
That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh
Right now, he's probably slow dancing
With a bleached-blond tramp
And she's probably getting frisky
Right now, he's probably buying
Her some fruity little drink
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey
Right now, he's probably up behind her
With a pool-stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don't know
[Chorus]
I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
And he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky
Right now, he's probably
Dabbing on three dollars
Worth of that bathroom Polo
Oh, and he don't know
That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh