Twenty

Really All I do is work and smoke and play beats inside my crib all day If I had it downloaded that's probably what my tinder say But I don't have the energy or effort to be on display I can't look at things the same I used to wear my heart up on sleeve now it's tucked under my breast Are you still running round these streets, does it help that you're depressed? Do you still toss round in your sleep are you still living check to check? Do I consider she on the list of shit I should regret? I'm only twenty, but I've lived a whole lifetime since last you've known me Got different homies, a few are still the same but more than ever I feel lonely So when I say shawty evil I mean literally Her actions left me feeble and based off what you was giving me I went turned into Riku now I'm lost in the lucidity I'm no longer as see through after all the shit you did to me Can't even trust my people even though I wish them everything But hold up lemme talk my shit real quick ya digg Before you go and think I'm a bitch get off my dick real quick Yeah that shit it cut me deep but I feel indifferent I didn't do much crying got off my ass and made a buck real quick Yeah I made it out of Kent and got a crib I keep up on my rent but it's a bitch I be eating everyday so I consider that a win I be keeping out the way and cause of that I lost some friends And Ion keep my family close, it shows They all spread over coast, I'm the youngest they've outgrown me So have all my homies So I'm stuck by my only Don't nobody phone me Not even remotely I feel like Tony Tony That's why it's tatted on me The solitude consoles me That's what you had shown me That Imma always be that kid at heart It's just me and my Sony My one and only But I'm only twenty And I've lived a whole lifetime since last you've known me Got different homies, a few are still the same but more than ever I feel lonely So when I say shawty evil is she really? Her actions left me feeble and based off what you was giving me I went turned into Riku now I'm lost in the lucidity I'm no longer as see through after all the shit you did to me Can't even trust my people I try to act like ok cool and now you dead to me I guess I never told you what it really meant to me I guess we've closed the door on that so why not let it be I guess that I still blame you for destroying any chemistry That I might've kept with me I met this girl Khensani and she's everything I'll never be I try to keep her right beside me but between us is your entity I give her all of mine now suddenly I'm lacking empathy Cause that lesson of yours still lingers I shut down if I let them in don't let em see us I feel bad that she admires me cause she won't get as near And now I'm the bad guy because I never made it clear That it's hard to juggle life and my transmission won't shift gears I didn't realize I was blind to the direction which I steer I can't tell if I'm telling the truth or just what she wanna hear Convincing myself with lies and action driven by my fears But I mean shit, I'm only twenty And I've lived a whole lifetime since last you've known me Got different homies, a few are still the same but more than ever I feel lonely So when I say shawty evil I mean yes Her actions left me feeble and based off what you was giving me I went turned into Riku now I'm lost in the lucidity I'm no longer as see through after all the shit you did to me I may have lost my innocence in return for humility I don't look at it maliciously It's more like ambiguity You was something new to me I appreciate your cruelty I'll continue my usually Yeah, but You said my music shit So I hope you're hearing this You're forever my abyss Of memories that don't exist So c'est la vie, estaré aquí, namaste, not me These hoes don't mean a thing