Through My Eyes (feat. Caiola)

Through my eyes It ain't worth it I'd take the time But don't deserve it I'm not the version of myself that you wanted me to be And through my eyes It's so hard to see you Talking to yourself because you know I won't answer I never have There's nothing I can do to fix it But change the past And we both know that's impossible So son please don't make me go Don't me go Another day Another fake smile Really wanna feel good But its been awhile It kinda feels like i'm all alone On a desert isle But it's fine I'll pretend like it's okay My mother's getting ill so I gotta stay But i'm starting to get tired man Next year i'm turning 48 Theres a lot of things I wanna fix But is it too late My kids and I don't have relationships Did they turn the page Because i'm seeing what he posts And it's killing my brain Another song about pain Like did I do this to him Am I the reason that he's broken and he's scared to trust friends Am I the reason he feels hopeless and afraid to commit I'm sorry i'm the reason that you can't let her in I'm sorry that I hurt you Made it hard to forgive And i'm sorry I deserted you when you was a kid All I ever really want is to be proud you exist But i'm ashamed to be this person Wish I never had kids I mean I really wasn't ready for like any of this I had a kid at nineteen I was barely in this Life, it's kind of crazy But it is what it is I mean I really should have grown up And just chose to be a mother But it's something I can't ever change Kids i'm sorry I ain't ever change But I loved you so much I wish I could explain But there isn't an excuse for any of the pain I was struggling with life I made ya'll the blame Because it's so much easier to point out names Than to take accountability for anything I could say a bunch of sorries and pretend to change But the truth is I deserve the pain I'm trying to forgive me Can you do the same Through my eyes It ain't worth it I'd give you time You'd have to earn it I'm not the version of myself That you wanted me to be And through my eyes It's so hard to see you Talking to yourself Because you know I wont answer I never have Theres nothing I can do to fix it But change the past We both know that's impossible So mom please don't make me go Don't make me go Another day Another fake smile Really wanna feel good But its been awhile It kinda feels like i'm all alone On a desert isle But it's fine I'll pretend like it's okay My mother's getting ill I don't wanna stay But I know I'm way to young man I don't that I should have this pain There's a lot of things I wanna fix But is it too late Because I moved on from that relationship I had to turn the page And now I'm posting all these songs I write about my pain Like you did this to me But what's the reason for it Cause you're the reason that i'm broken and I'm scared to trust friends And you're the reason I feel hopeless and afraid to commit You hurt me so bad I can't let no one in The fact you never fixed it Makes it hard to forgive Tell me why did you desert me I was only a kid All I ever really wanted is for you to be proud But i'm ashamed to be this person Who don't want you around I wish you never had me Tell me what's the point of life if you ain't ever happy And i'm sorry that you had me being only a kid But this isn't what it should be, so forget what it is I really wish that you had grown up And just chose to be a mother Least you taught me that Some people they don't ever change So I know that this will never change But if you love us so much Then why can't you just explain mom I won't let you have excuses your the reason for the pain If you struggled all your life then why didn't you just change huh You should of took accountability and stopped pointing blame Cause other people can't help you until you do the same So you can keep all of your sorries They don't mean anything And I wish I could forgive you But I ain't got the strength