The Reason Why

Uh Smoke two clips a day Then I'm on my way To stay stuck in my depression Thats everlasting Cuz my mom and pops rule with aggression Giving me no food air is what im digesting I want the to love my mom and pops, I want that connection But they reject me with stone cold facial expressions Leaving gaping lashes on my back at the age of seven Asking did I ever lesson The only thing I learned is that my pops likes to give me scars Just so I can vent abt years later in a couple bars And that leads to me with a gun to my head looking to the sky asking why god Sometimes there will be days where I'm not the same And I start writing a suicide note to follow my rope swing Perhaps a smith and Wesson to my brain That's a good solution to end the pain Did I get a little to dark for you This is apart of my view Which is why I be feeling awfully blue It might be hard to chew That the guy who has a smile that stretches miles isn't who you knew But hey man, that's the truth That's why I go do drug abuse Niggas will say that it's all an excuse Than I assume that you knew my life isn't really going how I planned or really smooth What I rapped about is just the surface I got other problems in the dark corners lurking So I deal by smoking and jerking You might find this to be TMI or just disturbing But this my cry for help, that's currently emerging Almost killed myself with the gun if the gun didn't jam I'm hurting Self esteem at an all time low Be getting my heart broken left and right by all of these hoes So I hide the pain with countless dough And vent with all of these flows It's hard sorta hard you know? Uh But with za It's how I deal it's how I cope A couple of smokes and I'm ready to go Deal with this cold dark lonley world cuz if I don't go smoke I'll go take the iso Two bottles down my own throat Take a trip down to the underworld so now you know