Song parody of
'Cause Onlyfans
by Reese Rideout
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Because Onlyfans, I don't have to think.
I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks.
Don't have to worry 'bout a 9 to 5
If I stay on Onlyfans and bounce my pecs,
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see people workin, it just makes me giggle.
'Cause I don't have to work; I just have to jiggle,
'Cause Onlyfans, O-L-Y-N-S.
'Cause Onlyfans; don't you wish you were me?
I never learned to work, and I never learned to cook.
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me,
But I have this phallic thing:
Open Wide?
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see other working jobs, and I feel so sorry for 'em,
'Cause when a place an order, cream on the bottom,
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition.
Well, I got an Onlyfans, and this was my audition:
Umm... Okay... What was it? ... Umm...
Don't tell me... Oh, yeah, okay.
"Slide Whistle, Boing Sound"
I'm a creator, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'On Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I took an sti test, and I passed it of course.
So let's collab, Inside of my Porsche,
'Cause Onlyfans, O-N-F-N-S.
I'm a Corn Star; don't you wish you were me?
[spoken]
I just want to say that being chosen this month's Man of the Year
Is, like, a compliment that I'll remember for as long as I can.
Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at Onlyfans,
But, my goal is to become a real doctor, cause I love probing holes!
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Others think I'm lazy, and maybe it's true.
Being Pan with Pecs, you would be too.
I'm a creator, C-R- ... I don't know!
I'm a Creator, yeah, yeah, yeah.
On Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Because Onlyfans, I don't have to think.
I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks.
Don't have to worry 'bout a 9 to 5
If I stay on Onlyfans and bounce my pecs,
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see people workin, it just makes me giggle.
'Cause I don't have to work; I just have to jiggle,
'Cause Onlyfans, O-L-Y-N-S.
'Cause Onlyfans; don't you wish you were me?
I never learned to work, and I never learned to cook.
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me,
But I have this phallic thing:
Open Wide?
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see other working jobs, and I feel so sorry for 'em,
'Cause when a place an order, cream on the bottom,
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition.
Well, I got an Onlyfans, and this was my audition:
Umm... Okay... What was it? ... Umm...
Don't tell me... Oh, yeah, okay.
"Slide Whistle, Boing Sound"
I'm a creator, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'On Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I took an sti test, and I passed it of course.
So let's collab, Inside of my Porsche,
'Cause Onlyfans, O-N-F-N-S.
I'm a Corn Star; don't you wish you were me?
[spoken]
I just want to say that being chosen this month's Man of the Year
Is, like, a compliment that I'll remember for as long as I can.
Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at Onlyfans,
But, my goal is to become a real doctor, cause I love probing holes!
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Others think I'm lazy, and maybe it's true.
Being Pan with Pecs, you would be too.
I'm a creator, C-R- ... I don't know!
I'm a Creator, yeah, yeah, yeah.
On Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause Onlyfans, yeah, yeah, yeah!
