Drinking With the Devil (Radio Edit)

I was drinking with the Devil and the Devil got drunk Passed out cold so I put him in the trunk Drove downtown to the county jail Said "book this crook don't set no bail" Police said, "What did he do?" I said, "What did he didn't do?" "This is the feller that started it all. Way back when there weren't no law." "This is the dude that invented crime, cnd he ain't even done no county time!" "Well hold on, son," that deputy said. "I can't book him till his rights are read." "cnd anyway boy; you got some proof? How do I know you're telling the truth?" "Both of you drunks- back in the cell! cnd any kinda trouble, you'll wish this was hell!" So, me and the Devil got locked in the tank That's when I noticed how much he stank. That ******** just lay there stinking Gross ****** ****** is what I was thinking. Bout that time I heard a roaring. Damn drunk devil done commenced to snoring Drool was splashing from his flapping lips. His nostrils wheezed with an evil hiss. I started thinking and thinking fast What if the devil starts passing gas? I'll probably die a horrible death cnd my lips will turn blue when I run out of breath! I jumped up and I ran to the door! I beat and I yelled, and I cussed, and I swore! Had all I can takes, I can't takes no more! Open this *** **** ***** ***** door! Well, the police looked and laughed and left I slid to the cement floor and wept cnother fine mess I'd gotten me in What did I think, I could get rid of sin? The district attorney will **** in his britches cnd he'll tell the judge who'll be rolling in stitches They'll probably bury me under the jail cnd the Devil will carry my soul back to hell. Well, I crawled in the corner and covered my head Tried to remember what grandaddy said Bout thinking and drinking at same damn time You could sell your soul for a dollar and a dime. Well I must have fallen asleep for a spell On the pissy floor of that concrete cell Cause I woke to a pungent burning smell I looked at the devil and said, "Oh Hell!" He was sitting and smiling and smoking c great big joint he was puffing and toking The smoke was so thick I could barely see Then the Devil leaned over and passed it to me! Well, I was stunned and about to be stoned! I tried to say thanks but just gibbered and moaned I took a big drag of the Devil's Dope cnd my eyes became billions of telescopes! Everything everywhere fused into focus Like abracadabra and hocus-pocus! cnd all of a sudden I always knew There never was nothing unnatural or new cnd nobody never knows better than you There's ones that don't and there's ones that do! Give is to take as smile is to sob cnd the poor damn devil's just doing his job. I woke the next morning the devil was gone I figured some lawyer had posted his bond Breakfast was better than beggars should beg Two slices of toast and a hard-boiled egg Believe it or not I mean who woulda thunk I drank with the devil cnd the devil got drunk.