The Humors Of Whiskey

Let your quacks and newspapers come cuttin' their capers For curin' the vapors, the scratch and the gout With their salves and their lotions, their pills and their potions Upholdin' the notion they're mighty put out Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic And pitch to the dibble, cramp, colic and spleen You'll know it, I think, if you take a big drink With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poitín Stick to the creature, the best thing in nature For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys What botheration, no dose in the nation Can give consolation like whiskey me boys No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic Or ladies pathetic can give such a bloom As sweet, by the powers, in the garden of flowers E'er gave their own bowers such darlin' perfume And a liquid so rare, if you willingly share To be taken your hair when it's frizzled and dead The sod has the merit to yield the true spirit So strong it'll shake all the hairs from your head Stick to the creature, the best thing in nature For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys Since its perfection, no doctor's direction Can cleanse the complexion like poitín, me boys As a child in my cradle, my nurse with her ladle Was fillin' my mouth with the notion of pap When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap On the floor I lay crawlin' and screamin' and bawlin Till mother and father were called to the fore Sobbin' and sighin' they feared I was dyin' But soon found I only was cryin' for more Stick to the creature, the best thing in nature For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys Lord how I'd chuckle if babes and their truckle Could only be suckled on whiskey me boys Through youthful digressions and times of depression My childhood's impression still clung to my mind And at school or at college, the basis of knowledge I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined And as older I'm growin', time's ever bestowin On Erin's potation a flavor so fine Howe'er they may lecture on Jove and his nectar Itself is the only liquid divine Stick to the creature, the best thing in nature For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys Lord it's the right thing for courtin' and fightin' There's naught so excitin' as poitín me boys Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal Sweeter than honey and stronger than steam What'll make the dumb talk, what'll make the lame walk What's the elixir of life and philosopher's stone What helped Mr. Brunnell to dig the Thames Tunnel Sure wasn't it whiskey from old Inishowen Stick to the creature, the best thing in nature For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys Lord it's no wonder if lightning and thunder Was made from the plunder of whiskey me boys Stick to the creature, the best thing in nature For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys Lord it's no wonder if lightning and thunder Was made from the plunder of whiskey me boys