I'm ready to decay

I'm losing my fucking mind What has my life turned into? Having my spirit collapsing Suffocating in every breath Trying keep up with time Drowning in my thoughts Desiring peace while I watch my shadow Run towards the light Leaving me alone in this wicked world Desperately asking myself when would it be my turn I'm losing my fucking mind I'm ashamed that I never saw Potential inside of me Only saw myself as a failure Crawling into my shit like a maggot Eating my dissolving illed mind Hoping my misery will end Don't won't to live anymore Tired of being tormented by my inner demons Hoping they can leave me alone with peace Sadly I'll get my peace Once im resting in my casket I'm losing my fucking mind I hate being a lost spirit Molesting my black heart Till it goes numb Watching my sick dark urges unfold Feel death inside of me Fucking me so good Penetrating deep inside my soul Gripping my hips Destroying my spine Taking my existence away Death will finally shot his deadly cum Filled with ravens Slowly flying into my soul Watching myself turn into dust Fuck everything Fuck everyone I'm ready to decay Wake up with misery and hate Go to sleep depressed Knowing I'll repeat the same cycle If I kill my self now I'll bring pain to my loved ones But they won't understand the amount pain I am in buy just existing Why should I care if they get hurt Why can't they understand im not happy Why can't they understand I hate my life I'm exhausted of living Just want to rest for good Never wake up again Fuck everything Fuck everyone I'm ready to decay Life is meaningless at the end of the day We either going to die in peace or in misery Leave without anything Fade away into ashes Be remembered Be forgotten Rot alone in our caskets Resting in the darkness Hope I'll be there very soon