Song parody of

The Judge's Return [2023 Broadway Cast Recording]

by Stephen Sondheim

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Where is she? Where is the girl? Below, your honor In the care of my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her Thank heavens, too, she has seen the error of her ways She has? Oh yes, your lesson was well learned, sir She speaks only of you, longing for your forgiveness And she shall have it She'll be here soon, you say? I think I hear her now Oh, excellent, my friend! Is that her dainty footstep on the stair? I hear nothing Yes, isn't that her shadow on the wall? Where? There! Primping Making herself even prettier than usual Even prettier If possible Oh, pretty women! Pretty women Yes, sir Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum! Sit, sir, sit Johanna, Johanna Pretty women Hurry, man! Pretty women Are a wonder You're in a merry mood again today, barber Yes, sir Pretty women! What we do for Pretty women! Blowing out their candles or Combing out their hair Then they leave Even when they leave you (even when they leave) And vanish, they somehow (they still) Can still remain (are) There with you (there) There (they're there) How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit! With fellow tastes in women, at least What? What's that? The years no doubt have changed me, sir But then, I suppose, the face of a barber The face of a prisoner in the dock is not particularly memorable Benjamin Barker! Benjamin Barker! Rest now, my friend Rest now forever Sleep now the untroubled Sleep of the angels Tobias! Lift your razor high, Sweeney! Hear it singing, "Yes!" Sink it in the rosy skin Of righteousness! Die! Die! God in heaven-die! You! Can it be? Have all the demons of hell come to torment me? Quick, to the oven Why did you scream? Does the Judge still live? Ah, he was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but n-now he's finished Leave them to me Open the doors No! Open the doors, I said! No! No! Don't touch her! What's the matter with you? It's only some meddling old beggar wo-

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