AMBIVALENCE TOWARDS THE BRUSH FIRE (feat. Logan Alexander)

Livin' my life I could just sigh, look at my eyes Nothin' inside Except the remains of a mind Think I might faint if this goes on longer Think I might faint if this goes on longer Who am I now if I didn't get stronger? Think I might faint if this goes on longer As I listen to the flames I knew I should be feelin' shame or rue Breathe in different shades of blue Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you Askin' who set fire to the bayou As you drown me right beside you But whenever I try to write you I can only seem to lie truths Send me outsidе Let me sit on the rainbow porch Takе a torch light up my skin I can promise I'd be a good sport All my days are borin', or they're overwhelmin' See the sky in grayscale Life is jail, but I won't pay bail 'Cause I still wanna spin that pitiful tale See the life that I'm livin' and I'm bitin' my lip 'Til I'm rippin' my skin 'cause I know I'd be happier broken Gonna take a pic to remember the lows 'Cause you never learn a lesson if you don't take blows I'm chokin' for fun, 'cause I laugh When I'm meant to be runnin' to the hills The tension can't build if I act relaxed So I'll slack off until you back off, fuck Shades of blue, nothin' but a system of pain I'll drink a portion of the poison and I'll sit in the rain There's still a lot of bad shit I don't know how to explain So I'll stay in these cold clothes with this ice in my brain, ugh! Never let it freeze, but I gotta keep it cold Keep the history to me 'cause I'm the only one involved Losin' focus as I fall, now he's all grown up And the problems that he never had all showed up Denial sows the cheapest seed See the ashes of the past I burned are hidin' under leaves Cut the tension, watch it bleed Denial sows the cheapest seed See the ashes of the past I burned are hidin' under leaves Cut the tension, watch it bleed As I listen to the flames I knew I should be feelin' shame or rue Breathe in different shades of blue Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you Askin' who set fire to the bayou As you drown me right beside you But whenever I try to write you I can only seem to lie truths As I listen to the flames I knew I should be feelin' shame or rue Breathe in different shades of blue Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you Askin' who set fire to the bayou As you drown me right beside you But whenever I try to write you I can only seem to lie truths It's my default settings to be trampled over The time moves slow, but my heart beats slower Put all my effort into my composure Just hopin' I can get a hint of closure But now, here I'm drownin' again Come back to you every now and then The flames bite my skin, but they aren't sharp as you It feels like the end, but I'm not scarred as you I'm a mess That ain't ever tryna clean up I confess That I would never try to fuckin' speak up So I guess it's my fault, huh? So I guess it's my fault, huh? Water fills my lungs, but I should have spoke But I left the vault door shut, fuck! Uh, tired of the blue waters I'll take whatever deal from anyone who offers At this point, I'm desperate, just want this to end But the fires still blaze on and I won't pretend That I got a bright future ahead of me I know I'll fuck it up, I'm my own worst enemy Stop threatenin' me with a good time My reckonin' breakin' through the frostbite Sorry, babe, looks like I've done it again I've opened my mouth and now I'm condemned Fill my lungs with the freezing cold 'Cause I'm not easily controlled Hold your wound, but it's not that simple Old bruise still on your dimple The flames still rage on, refusin' to dwindle But we can't rekindle our love As I listen to the flames I knew I should be feelin' shame or rue Breathe in different shades of blue Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you Askin' who set fire to the bayou As you drown me right beside you But whenever I try to write you I can only seem to lie truths As I listen to the flames I knew I should be feelin' shame or rue Breathe in different shades of blue Who's to fuckin' blame? Not you Askin' who set fire to the bayou As you drown me right beside you But whenever I try to write you I can only seem to lie truths