Fade Away

I'm getting used to getting shutdown Everything that goes good turns to shit wow Now I'm trying to block all this shit out I'm blowing smoke in the air while I bake on the couch Thinking deeply bout the family issues Few tears flow thinking this caused my mental conditions It's a mission getting through this day That's why I have to fade away with not much else to say I love numbing all the pain I'm sick of all these games that they play with my brain Fuck I don't give a fuck about this life Nothing matters in the end that's why I'm always high Why do I always get my hopes up I'm always getting fucked over I'm too hard to love That's why I turn to that green shit Cone after cone till I can't sink it The only time I feel a sense of peace Is when I'm that fucked up and I can't speak I think I'm done with this life I swear If I died next week yeah I wouldn't care I might as well leave something great behind Like all these smooth rhymes that your grandson could find It's actually crazy that I started rap Like if I didn't do that where would I be at Friends drift till they drift away Some people only wanna see ya on your happy day I blaze cause this systems fake I'm sick of people trying to impress the people that they hate I say live for yourself fuck what they think your the one in your cell You better brake away from all the fake And go follow your dream it ain't too late I'm building up a routine again I'm getting closer to my goals yeah I can feel it man I'm gonna prove all my haters wrong I'd actually like to see them write a half decent rap song I'm hoping mum gets back to normal soon It breaks my heart to see that you look so battered and bruised Imma die if I lose you You don't deserve all this pain I really love you Tears still running cause I really care I've always been a deep thinker lost in my despair Still panic but I got a job Still stressing from this lesson that I can not stop I can't wait to drop this E.P Wait your pumping this now so I did gee See I am living in a fantasy If your judging from the outside you can never see I just wanna be the real me The kid full of drive that's how it is suppose to be But they still don't understand me I'm the odd one out it's how its always been I'm sick of dealing with this ex bitch You never had my back to start with what you think this is You think I'm just something to play with Well now you'll never have me back I hope you suffer bitch You always made me feel like shit I know a good relationship ain't suppose to be like this I grieved you so now it's to late I hope you had fun getting with your so called mate No thoughts but I'm feeling this Heaps of weight on my shoulders but I'm moving quick Shit writing rhymes before I'm hitting work I have a vision this decisions gonna make my world It's actually crazy that I'm really here All I am is some consciousness in a state of fear I'm doing better but I fucking hate How most people let the government control there way I've always been that fucking weird kid Always against the mass I ain't no sheep bitch Life ain't easy so I struggle more All my pain in my raps have got ya feeling raw Sure I could make a fucking happy rap But I'd be lying to your face and I don't do that Fact we're all creators in this game called life We're not here to get paid and work a nine to five We're here to help and change each others life But seems like everyone is all about the likes Imma stick to my music and create something special from my feelings