Song parody of
Self Checkout
by Friends w/ Benefits
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Checkin' myself out in the mirror
Damn I look fine
I'd buy me a beer
All you bitches savin' money
Don't fret you can't afford me
Ugly fuckers need not apply
My momma said I's a dime
Good for you like a reishi mushroom
Watch your nose like Roshi's gush
Doom husslin' to buy me a nation
Bitches wanna ride me like a bus at the station
I got nice bones
Bitches be blowin' up my phones
Eh, oh wait that's my mom
And she's not a bish
Yap, yep we got a
We got a 420-69 in progress
That is uh
We got uh, a young adult male
That is really feelin' his look
And he's lookin' good
But uh, still gotta put a stop to this
So I'm gonna need all squad cars in the area
To uh report to ADDRESS REDACTED
Ya that is all squad cars
This is serious buisiness
This boy
His looks could destroy the nation if we're not careful
Ok? Ok
I mean, I, we can already see the young ladies moving to his location
And a variety of young men moving there too
This is just the greatest moral danger facing America today
We gotta get all the police we can there
Checkin' myself out in the mirror
It's a goddamn shame no one is here cuz
I'm lookin' so good that I should treat myself tonight
I wish that there were two of me
Cuz I know just what I'd do for me
Such a good time
Cuz I'm a freak
Maybe I even need three
If I had a tail
People be crashin' checkin' out my rear
Cuz it's hot not weird (I need 600V)
Just to be clear (CLEAR)
Ain't even a name for that sort of thing, but
Fuck
Open up, police
Tonight on BOOB IES News at 7
I'm Jerren McGuinness
And I'm Walsh O'Branna
Dozens in critical condition
After seeing a stunningly attractive young man
With a tail! - more at 8
Sightings of the Catman
Near the East Precinct in Capitol Hill
Authorities believe that the Catman sightings
May be related to the man who has been spotted recently
With outstanding bone structure
Let's go over to our panel
Today we have
King Krule
King K. Rule
Arnold Schwarzenegger
And Tom Waits
Go ahead and discuss amongst yourselves
I don't what's up with all these cat boys (I don't know Catboys in California)
Iiaaouu
Like what's next Dogboys, Allegatorboys (There's nothing wrong with Catboys)
Hmm, uh Crocodileboys (I was mobbin')
Checkin' myself out in the mirror
Damn I look fine
I'd buy me a beer
All you bitches savin' money
Don't fret you can't afford me
Ugly fuckers need not apply
My momma said I's a dime
Good for you like a reishi mushroom
Watch your nose like Roshi's gush
Doom husslin' to buy me a nation
Bitches wanna ride me like a bus at the station
I got nice bones
Bitches be blowin' up my phones
Eh, oh wait that's my mom
And she's not a bish
Yap, yep we got a
We got a 420-69 in progress
That is uh
We got uh, a young adult male
That is really feelin' his look
And he's lookin' good
But uh, still gotta put a stop to this
So I'm gonna need all squad cars in the area
To uh report to ADDRESS REDACTED
Ya that is all squad cars
This is serious buisiness
This boy
His looks could destroy the nation if we're not careful
Ok? Ok
I mean, I, we can already see the young ladies moving to his location
And a variety of young men moving there too
This is just the greatest moral danger facing America today
We gotta get all the police we can there
Checkin' myself out in the mirror
It's a goddamn shame no one is here cuz
I'm lookin' so good that I should treat myself tonight
I wish that there were two of me
Cuz I know just what I'd do for me
Such a good time
Cuz I'm a freak
Maybe I even need three
If I had a tail
People be crashin' checkin' out my rear
Cuz it's hot not weird (I need 600V)
Just to be clear (CLEAR)
Ain't even a name for that sort of thing, but
Fuck
Open up, police
Tonight on BOOB IES News at 7
I'm Jerren McGuinness
And I'm Walsh O'Branna
Dozens in critical condition
After seeing a stunningly attractive young man
With a tail! - more at 8
Sightings of the Catman
Near the East Precinct in Capitol Hill
Authorities believe that the Catman sightings
May be related to the man who has been spotted recently
With outstanding bone structure
Let's go over to our panel
Today we have
King Krule
King K. Rule
Arnold Schwarzenegger
And Tom Waits
Go ahead and discuss amongst yourselves
I don't what's up with all these cat boys (I don't know Catboys in California)
Iiaaouu
Like what's next Dogboys, Allegatorboys (There's nothing wrong with Catboys)
Hmm, uh Crocodileboys (I was mobbin')
