Late Nights

At the time I'm writing this I'm really not well This is just a message that I'm sending myself All this time I tried but just wasn't myself Whiskey fueled when singing it don't stay on that shelf Yeah you know my name but don't know me well I began to change had to go with my will I don't wanna do it but I know I will Took a big rock to the dome no pills Rolled up dollar bills I was chasing all the thrills Cause a nigga wasn't happy but I wasn't into pills So I struggled for a long time with this shit It's what it is Guess I passed the test from God I guess aced the fuckin quiz I was putting up a fence Am I making sense? I was happy living in it I used that as my defence For this recreation usage I would do at my expense and I knew that it was wrong but I just needed it immensely Shit was so expensive Aunty please don't call me cause I'm sober and defensive You won't be impressed with the way that I been acting Knew I had some problems so I used the molly as a distraction And then I broke my soul and broke my heart I'm picking up fractions I wouldn't have made it if the ambulance dispatched late Dying only twenty would've been a fuckin sad fate Old me died a little but these days I feel I am great Lemme just get that straight All of my scars Come from when I was broken Life broke my heart but still I'm unbroken Lotta things that ain't been said I just wish that I spoke it You ain't there for these late nights I fight and fight tryna make it right I'm just a hurt person that hurt people My words come from this worlds evil You would think that this shit be so simple I felt small I felt little Had no voice I had one choice I would die alone or I would make some noise I chose just to get up with a pen and it was written I can't let em win I gotta show all of these bitches Said I'd be an addict but I guess I fuckin kicked it Said I couldn't do it but I really fuckin did this Listening to beats and that became my new prescription Rapping, mixing , writing shit I'm so fucking addicted Please don't get it twisted I'm not naturally gifted Working for this shit was hella hard and full of risks shit Worked until these late nights started meaning something different I got this momentum and got features on my wish list At the time I'm writing this I'm really not well This is just a message that I'm sending myself All this time I tried but just wasn't myself Whiskey fueled when singing it don't stay on that shelf Yeah you know my name but don't know me well I began to change had to go with my will I don't wanna do it but I know I will Took a big rock to the dome no pills All of my scars Come from when I was broken Life broke my heart but still I'm unbroken Lotta things that ain't been said I just wish that I spoke it You ain't there for these late nights I fight and fight tryna make it right