Three Weeks in Nepal

Look, truth is I don't even really know what to say My heart's feeling broke when I scroll past your name I wish we could have said we'd go back to being friends But being honest, us we don't know how to be mates I wish when having fun time wouldn't go so quick 'Cause now I'm looking back like it is what it is At least while it lasted I felt on top of the stars Our heads in the clouds our three weeks in Nepal Three weeks in the Himalayas It's funny cause we had more ups and downs than mountain ranges When it should have been vacation You know, infatuation stage? Well being honest it was different 'Cause we both communicated all our tragic pains All our scars and wounds You had a past of being treated like you're worthless And that viewpoint then got passed to you And I was scared of not enough intimacy But you was scared it'd be enough, and then at that point I would leave So you push, and you push, and you pushed me away Calling everything a flag just to save you pain And I recognised your fear so I'd find the words to say That I know it's early days but I know I'm here to stay To at least give it a honest try, never seen an honest guy So when I'd tell her something nice, at best she sees an honest lie, like, "you think that now, but give it time and you'll be leaving" It's sad cause she was right but just for all the wrong reasons So I don't even really know what to say My heart's feeling broke when I scroll past your name I wish I could have said we'd go back to being friends But being honest, us we don't know how to be mates I wish when having fun time wouldn't go so quick 'Cause now I'm looking back like "it is what it is" At least while it lasted I felt on top of the stars Our heads in the clouds our three weeks in Nepal I ain't even gonna lie, you got me fucked up, I can't pretend I went to sleep crying, dreamed crying, woke up and started crying again Thought of writing, tried to find me a pen But played this beat and it was back to ugly crying in bed All jokes aside, I'm not joking though, truth is I'm a lonely soul And maybe I was hoping this would be my final rodeo I hear your pain and empathise because I chose to know But all you're ever told to know is niggas run from broken souls Never me though, I'm built different, y'all be safe Told you can I handle it all, if you communicate Cracks in your heart, insecurities, and childhood pain None of it is childish less you bring them out in childish ways There's no shame in being scared of getting hurt again 'Cause when you're hurt by everyone, then anyone's a burn again Anyone's that person that can make you feel your worst again So me I'm here just hoping that you'll go and find your worth again still I don't know what to say My heart's feeling broke when I scroll past your name I wish I coulda said we'd go back to being friends But being honest, us we don't know how to be mates I wish when having fun time wouldn't go so quick 'Cause now I'm looking back like "it is what it is" At least while it lasted I felt on top of the stars Our heads in the clouds, our three weeks in Nepal