Fixer Upper

Hello there! I got a letter in the post Addressed to the previous owner I don't know how to pronounce their name I don't think they were from 'round here, you know Well, I just moved into the area, yeah That big old thing over the road It's a fixer upper though, it's a fixer upper so We're gonna put pound shop Terracotta frogs everywhere And wrap solar power fairy lights 'round the gutter I got a Prosecco o'clock poster half price in Ikea It goes nicely with the existential fear that I feel When I accidentally wonder What I'm really doing here And how long I've got left before I'm six feet under I can't believe I'm a two homeowner (Finally!) Can't believe I'm a two homeowner I've finally got a nice little drive to call my own I got off street parking for the rover It's a fixer upper though Yeah no, not the rover, the rover's golden I'm talking about that big old thing over the road Yeah that big old thing over the road! We're gonna knock through the kitchen wall though Even though it's grade two Tudor architecture But we're gonna absolutely ruin it All alright? We can't stand old shite! It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper! Anyway, this letter I'll just post it back 'return to sender' Unless you know him, I think I think he's called Mr. J. Konopinski Oh no wait, that's not an M that's a D Dr. J. Konopinski, do you know him? Sounds a bit Russian to me Oh! Polish, I see And he had a PhD did he? What in? Probably one of those pointless media degrees, not for me University of life ya see, I got thick skin School of hard knocks Gonna knock through that wall on Tuesday Just in case you or the wife are gonna be in It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper! Alright mate, sorry about the commotion yesterday The bloody builders are refusing to finish the job until I pay 'em But I told 'em, no one pulls a fast one on Graham I'm Graham by the way, don't know if I mentioned I told 'em, I'm not made of money, you're having a laugh Two homes and a rover, comes from hard graft I'm not minted, I earnt it It's not some funny voodoo business I didn't walk on gilded splinters To make the dent I did in under a year I earnt it, in case you're wondering And as for the builders Yeah they're Polish I'm not bothered about that like But where you come from, it says a lot about a man And I'm not from 'round here, but I am Also they won't take cash in hand What's with that? Maybe they wouldn't need the money so bloody fast If they weren't willingly giving it all to the tax man You take what you can get where I'm from And I'm not from 'round here, but I am I'm Graham by the way (Hey Graham) I'm Graham I'm Graham