Pick Up (Clean)

I'm sorry, I knew you wouldn't pick up 3:30 AM in the morning, still up Thinking 'bout all of the losses and stuff I've suffered this month Man I've had enough Heart in my music, I lift it up What I've been doing: I've given up Move it or lose it, heart's in the dust How am I doing? Mentally ****ed Wish I had friends, but they make it worse anyway They don't know how to act around me cuz the pain Drowns out my real emotion, I feel fake Phony smile behind a phone everyday Eventually I push all my homies away They don't really get me and how could they? I'm calling to say that I'm not okay No "safe space" cuz I never feel safe Tossing and turning all night, bae I never do things the right way Vulnerable, I'm never quite safe I don't take grief the polite way No matter how much it might weigh Burdens have never been lightweight Nothing does ever go my way Spirit dissolving like nitrate Blinded by harm, it's a bright ray Broken and that's how the light came I ain't been having nice day Cold heart feels like an ice age Told to not cry cuz it's Friday Weeping while I'm in the driveway Everyone knows that I hide hide pain At this point why should I hide pain? I'm sorry, I knew you wouldn't pick up 3:30 AM in the morning, still up Thinking 'bout all of the losses and stuff I've suffered this month Man I've had enough Heart in my music, I lift it up What I've been doing: I've given up Move it or lose it, heart's in the dust How am I doing? Mentally ****ed Wish I had friends, but they make it worse anyway They don't know how to act around me cuz the pain Drowns out my real emotion, I feel fake Phony smile behind a phone everyday Eventually I push all my homies away They don't really get me and how could they? I'm calling to say that I'm not okay No "safe space" cuz I never feel safe Wish I could numb it for good right about now How to remove it, I gotta find out how Conscience is gone, either that or it's drowned out Thinking so deep that it's probably out loud Probably out loud, not quiet Hopeless and pitiful sounds in private Speak of the devil, I'm his client Want him out, he's noncompliant Thoughts get violent, wish they were peaceful Yeah I'm trying, but I can't breathe And sorrow is piling, devil is smiling All the trials, reason I need her Gruesome and vile, wish I could see her Walk in my shoes, that makes your feet hurt Feels like I'm barefoot, gimme some sneakers Tired of liars, wish I could leave earth Someone pick me up, someone pick up Someone help me up, someone stick up, yeah I need someone's love, I need all of I need someone's love, I need all of it I'm sorry, I knew you wouldn't pick up 3:30 AM in the morning, still up Thinking 'bout all of the losses and stuff I've suffered this month Man I've had enough Heart in my music, I lift it up What I've been doing: I've given up Move it or lose it, heart's in the dust How am I doing? Mentally ****ed