Dear Mom

Why are you wasting your time one this Mike She had 20 years to be there for us She was never there 20 years Dear Mom Remember when you stabbed that man, left me traumatized When my heart grew cold and my hair turned white When I cut my wrist thinkin bout suicide When I prayed for God just to end my life When I found friends, when I lost those fights When I curled up tight on those lonely nights When It was just me and him up inside my mind Then you gave up on me and you never tried They said I was nothing, I lived in the rain Noone ever came, fell in love with the pain Accepted this life cuz some things never change But if I had that chance Id do it again Only regret was not pickin the pen And then writing the things I was scared to admit Spent too much time tryna forget When I shoulda spent time tryna forgive Yeah, forgive your mistakes Forgive the misdeeds and your arrogant ways You ripped that smile right off of my face Created these demons, put me in a cage I had to bury my anger and rage Else I woulda been consumed by hate And bleed on people every day But I don't wanna hate you I guess what I'm sayin is I just want you to know that I love you I just need you to know that I need you I just wrote this to tell you one more thing, yeah I just want you to know that I love you I just need you to know that I need you I just wrote this to tell you one more thing, yeah Dear Mom, I'm 16 now And I can't help but wonder why your not around It's sad that all of our good times together Is all of the times that I can't remember But I'm not mad, dont get it twisted I'm just upset that we never existed When I say I love you just know it's forever But why did you promise that you would get better That never happened you were never there I can't help thinking that you never cared Do you know what it' like to be living in fear Constantly thinkin that they'll disappear It sucks, the thoughts in my head are often too much And I can't keep a girl cuz I don't understand love I've lost all emotions I miss who I was I'm in an ocean, all I feel is numb So I take to the blade, rupture the veins If I don't feel any pain, I don't feel anything To hell with this numbness I hate taking pills just so I can feel somethin Can't do it no more, I'm tired of runnin I'm on the floor and I know that they love it It's okay, I know the truths ugly But I gotta know, did you even want me And if you did Why'd you go away I don't want you to leave I just want you to stay I don't think that you know How many times that I've prayed That you'd quit with the drugs, that you'd be okay That you would be safe, but its always the same I just want you to know that I love you I just need you to know that I need you I just wrote this to tell you one more thing, yeah I just want you to know that I love you I just need you to know that I need you I just wrote this to tell you one more thing, yeah Dear Mom, hope you're doin okay Didn't write this song just to throw in your face Didn't write this song to put you into shame Only wrote this song to give you the strength To show everyone that its never too late To start lookin at life in a different way To see the beauty in all of the pain To start makin it right, to start makin a change Take a look at what you do to yourself Know that you don't gotta do it yourself Sometimes you just gotta ask for some help Never be ashamed to feel how you felt Make up your mind don't let nobody else Tell you who to be, to put you in a cell I can come to you, I can give you the key But its all up to you if you wanna be free Yeah, if you wanna be free Yeah, I can give you the key And I know you've done a lot of wrong in the past But I refuse to remember you like that Remember you like that