Sink or Swim

Been sitting round the house past couple of days Tryna figure out how I'm gonna get paid Thinking how I'll never be the shit that I say I'm tryna escape cuz my mind is a cage Time must be a construct cuz I'm stuck in a loop Burden of existence on my back so I stoop I'm tryna revisit all the days of my youth Shit used to be simple now there's multiple truths I'm sick of the people always critiquing God Act like they know everything it's pissing me off I think that in everything there's chance that we wrong It's why I'm fucking terrified there isn't a God Existence is lost We all here by chance And there isn't no meaning You can't make no meaning There's no rhyme without reason But I guess everybody Need some shit to believe in When you lose God You realise that you need Him Don't know what you have til it's gone Suicidal thoughts but I kill them for my mom Can't afford a therapist I sit down with these songs Tell em all my problems and the people sing along Head in a frenzy Does God give me all of this stress So he can test me If I cannot take it and die Will they forget me Is God really showing me love Or just neglecting Here we go Harken to the words before I was singing different notes Talked bout those critiquing God Now I take the same approach The words that hang you be your own Forsake God Might as well forsake my soul I ain't prayed in a long time I can feel the toll Lot of alternative vices Don't fill the holes I just need to know There's a reason I do all this for There's more to life than we can see Are circumstances and the people round me shaping who I'll be Or are there other factors just as vital that remain unseen I never listen to the people round me I just look within On my own path Tryna make it home Sink or swim But it take a lot Just to stay afloat The universe is huge Earth is small I feel so alone No-one I can tell all of these thoughts When I check my phone