Song parody of
JFK to LaGuardia
by Calamity Jones
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This is the shit that you lit up a spliff to
Hitchu in ribs, I'm amiss if I miss you
Wish you would live up to my expectations
Then take you away to a place that'll lift you
Isn't it funny that money's objectively nothing
Until it buys something
Then suddenly coming up outta the cracks is the hungry
I'm dumb as a dunce if I think that they fuck with me
Running on stunted legs, rounded like bundted breads
Rueful that hundred percent of my check went to summer rent
Now I got nothing left
Up to the challenge on average the half of my words that are comin' up savage
Make up for the rest that are nothing
Nonsensical mentions, detritus and babbles
I'm bad with the tension
So please lend me lobes or at least just pretend it
But back to the pest of a question at hand
Who is this ever peculiar man?
The one who can come up here, come up with nothing
But somehow his stuff is still bumpin'
Well let me fill you in
Like pastries sure to give a cop a grin
I think I gotta stop my drop in oxygen
But gosh look at the clock it's tickin'
Time to let the toxins in
My demons in a boxing gym
I'm sounding quite obnoxious when I know I got a pot to piss in
This is just a spot to spit this
Real shit that I gotta deal with
Deep within my own cerebral
Evil doesn't even cut it
Kinda like I stuck a stick of dynamite inside a muppet
Kirmit must be flustered, Swedish Chef covered in mustard
Plus the lust I got for Piggy's guaranteed to make it awkward
Never felt a body softer
In the rafters I could hear the laughter
Chatter that amassed to clashing clatter
The sweeter the movement the evergreener be the tulip
Mint julep on two lips, the truest fruit I ever knew is
A beautiful thing
When you no longer need the shower to sing
When gladder tidings more exciting than the shiniest bling
I like this ring, I think it be uncut
It started up in Howie's butt
I need you like a hole in head
And now I got another one
Power be the reason
Sour be the seasoning
Rather Lawry's on this bitch I'm feasting
Moon to earth, reverse in Gleason
Type of prick to put a pickled pepper through your peepers
Then tell you you're screaming's fucking with the speakers
("Shh")
Once upon a time I kinda tried alignment
Finding I'd just rather bide my time
Than climb this mountain that's inside me
Blinding my own eyes so I won't have to see the day
That angels come on down from somewhere
Just to take it all away
That's why I'm kinda goin nowhere, JFK to LGA
That's why I'm kinda goin nowhere JFK to LGA
Hey
'Ey
'Ey
'Ey
This is the shit that you lit up a spliff to
Hitchu in ribs, I'm amiss if I miss you
Wish you would live up to my expectations
Then take you away to a place that'll lift you
Isn't it funny that money's objectively nothing
Until it buys something
Then suddenly coming up outta the cracks is the hungry
I'm dumb as a dunce if I think that they fuck with me
Running on stunted legs, rounded like bundted breads
Rueful that hundred percent of my check went to summer rent
Now I got nothing left
Up to the challenge on average the half of my words that are comin' up savage
Make up for the rest that are nothing
Nonsensical mentions, detritus and babbles
I'm bad with the tension
So please lend me lobes or at least just pretend it
But back to the pest of a question at hand
Who is this ever peculiar man?
The one who can come up here, come up with nothing
But somehow his stuff is still bumpin'
Well let me fill you in
Like pastries sure to give a cop a grin
I think I gotta stop my drop in oxygen
But gosh look at the clock it's tickin'
Time to let the toxins in
My demons in a boxing gym
I'm sounding quite obnoxious when I know I got a pot to piss in
This is just a spot to spit this
Real shit that I gotta deal with
Deep within my own cerebral
Evil doesn't even cut it
Kinda like I stuck a stick of dynamite inside a muppet
Kirmit must be flustered, Swedish Chef covered in mustard
Plus the lust I got for Piggy's guaranteed to make it awkward
Never felt a body softer
In the rafters I could hear the laughter
Chatter that amassed to clashing clatter
The sweeter the movement the evergreener be the tulip
Mint julep on two lips, the truest fruit I ever knew is
A beautiful thing
When you no longer need the shower to sing
When gladder tidings more exciting than the shiniest bling
I like this ring, I think it be uncut
It started up in Howie's butt
I need you like a hole in head
And now I got another one
Power be the reason
Sour be the seasoning
Rather Lawry's on this bitch I'm feasting
Moon to earth, reverse in Gleason
Type of prick to put a pickled pepper through your peepers
Then tell you you're screaming's fucking with the speakers
("Shh")
Once upon a time I kinda tried alignment
Finding I'd just rather bide my time
Than climb this mountain that's inside me
Blinding my own eyes so I won't have to see the day
That angels come on down from somewhere
Just to take it all away
That's why I'm kinda goin nowhere, JFK to LGA
That's why I'm kinda goin nowhere JFK to LGA
Hey
'Ey
'Ey
'Ey
