Childish Habits

Everywhere I go Each sight that I cope Reminds me of you Reminds me of you It all goes so slow When I try and hide the truth There's no use How can I feel alone When I have my own Ashamed of my growth Please go away Please go away Please go away Bc I want to break free I Spent 9 months astray Anxious and afraid Keeping my wages away from my savings That's how I pay My guilt been Mary Jane Lois Lane It's All the same Love hate relationships been my game But today But I do not want to play But the cat ain't out the bag yet I'm not really the one to chase But I've been acting so very jerry in this race Forgot to tie my laces So I've tripped for every step i've made since It's Repetitive and ageless I Hate this complacence Meditative I've been Faceless I must seem But my feelings are on the canvas It's too obvious to speak This is my Sedative I'm overdosing Hesitant to stop soaking As there's no such thing as over-coping Right Well, I bet it is And I think you're seeing me with scrutiny Lying is a great friend But a worse enemy Claimed too many courtesies I Reeked the rewards and freaked But I'm worried what that causes I'm freaked Everywhere I go Each sight that I cope Reminds me of you Reminds me of you It all goes so slow When I try and hide the truth There's no use How can I feel alone When I have my own Ashamed of my growth Please go away Please go away Please go away Bc I want to break free Too scared to be The cavity in your teeth Ruining your smile But possibly you'd be Willy Wonka's child Without me Never been more needed But when the opportunity arise Lives soon to be disguises Cries coo till she realises I've got room to be nice Do not mind to be Not viewed to be right Or liked, or kind And I dunno if I even tried Relying on childish type tendencies All cap typing about dying Not lying But crying ain't gonna gain any sympathy for me, Like I never knew how to express negative energy Mind and mouth never had the right synergy Shut the fuck up Tryna justify your likes, and kind. Like I might shatter in-front of your eyes Vile, unsightly, bile piled up behind my eye-lids, I'm sick And that's excusing the kid business Assuming I haven't been put on any hit list Accusing me for big shit I have to face Smiling while my Shit quiff is my face Ignorance giving me split bliss before I'm disgraced Everywhere I go Each sight that I cope Reminds me of you Reminds me of you It all goes so slow When I try and hide the truth There's no use How can I be alone When I have my own Ashamed of my growth Please will you stay Please will you stay Please will you stay Cuz I want to break free The ground upon my feet Is ripping the whole earth below The grass upon my feet Is tearing a told path for me I wanna do the right thing But I'm always so wrong mask a couple shadow hits In my mental octagon Battle of wits But of course they draw Mind tricks upon mind tricks This costs you to pour Your mind, soul, identity To reclaim your Mind soul, identity Serenity will come later Right now It's not meant to be But I'll take my time to find what's best for me Industry still so heavenly Maybe to stick to my family That's where I'm meant to be And That's from people way ahead of me Too young to accept Too old to runaway As always I give into my fears But at some point You come to your senses