I am a Cloud

I'm close to crying over you And I know you haven't given me a second thought You pop in and out of my life Just like my crippling addiction to pot I need to get my shit together If I ever really want you to stay Things aren't getting better I wouldn't say they're getting worse But they're definitely not staying the same I did everything in my power to reach out to you via phone If this doesn't work I guess I'll get in my car Maybe I'll start shopping at the place I know you work God I sound scary Or am I being paranoid I'm terrified of taking things to far Depression shows all it's usual signs You're a shitty con artist I know not to be alone I'm not restarting from the bottom I just got to the middle and stopped That's the story of my life don't you know I am upside down I am in a cloud You see in my head you're a doorway It's clear I'm not ready to come down Sometimes I play with a small rubber ball And somehow it makes me feel sane Cause if the world explodes I've been wasting my time I was barely alive today I feel so much because of and for you And I've rarely even seen your face We exist next to a stream and that stream will keep moving Without regards to what we create I am upside down I am in a cloud You see in my head you're a doorway Maybe I'm about to come down Someone tell Charlie Sheen to calm down You've made enough headlines for awhile I'm so bored when I should really be busy I'm always in the mentality that I'm on trial I need to learn how to take care of myself I've grown up in every other way It's such a fatal flaw in my design I'm the new model no one liked So they threw me away I am upside down I am in a cloud You see in my head you're a doorway It's clear I'm never gonna come down I am upside down I am in a cloud You see in my head you're a doorway It's clear I'm never gonna come around