Ode

Callin' this an ode That would be a stretch And I won't write an ode For a thing that Still isn't over yet Go Woulda lost a bet Will our lives be at all like we thought Were dreams all an overstep Old The older that I get The thoughts of where we would be now Are looking like jokes at best The thing That I would not predict Is how grateful I'd be to just breathe And walk around no longer sick Grateful for such normal things Like waking up not full of dread Unable to get out of bed Grateful for such boring things Like driving around a sharp bend Not wanting go straight ahead Grateful for such normal things Like sitting alone with thoughts And not having to fight them off Could that be the normal now? Managing what can't be cured Was born with me when I was born Is it really smart Does it make any sense Be beholden to the hopes that we had While looking through a child's lense Back I knew it all But it turns out a turn for the worse Was waiting just outside the hall Scars Dug tunnels in the brain With the knowledge that there will be new ones Made through my remaining days Yeah I guess that is to say That no matter how hard that I try I'll end up back in hell sometimes Grateful for the time I spend Every second of normal Is like a blessing that heaven has sent Changed the way I look at things After thinking of death as a friend I see things through a different lense Who could know what life would bring So I'm trying to keep it the same And always take it day by day One small step and test the ground If it's solid I'll put down a stake And keep on building up the house Everyone needs A reason to be Especially those Who can't seem to see The point of it all Where's the green on the grass? What's the meaning of life? What's so bad about death? I couldn't find One clear reason to live But that means I'm free To fill that space in No purpose to get Means a purpose to learn You can go out and find one While you wait for your turn Maybe life is a canvas so And I can just paint my own world