Peace Of Mind

I'm pushing twenty it's the hardest of times And I can't say you've crossed my mind When you're there all the damn time And I can't explain the hurt inside But at least now I have peace of mind And now here's a piece of mine They would never really get it Wanted something you went and did it To god that's where you're headin I love you man I never said it I never expressed that and I regret it I just hope you know that I meant it I loved everything we went through The best of times since I was a little kid Finally can say I'm happy at least for a little bit And I lost a brother a friend and a son All in the course of a month I miss your smile I remember it vividly And I wonder if you're up there looking over me Ah! I think about it everyday It's got me getting in the booth Feeling the hurt and the pain If I'm telling you the truth I got all these thoughts inside of my mind Try to picture you, think about if you had fear in your eyes Try to breathe feel like I'm suffocating inside Try to stay strong have faith in the one up above, the divine Tell myself everything will be fine, take it one day at a time Listen to him and look for the signs Pray for you and know that I'll love you till the day that I die (day that I die) I need you to know that I tried and I hope at the end of the day it is peace that I find Or maybe the negativity will always be a piece of my mind... I wonder what Ill do if I can't find my way And I know when I look to you it's a lie when I say that I'm not afraid But I know you're looking to me to carry the name And I will have a son And I will name him Eric James In memory of you and what we went through I know you would be glad and have a smile on your face While you're up there in heaven basking in forevers grace I promise to you that one day I'll make it to fame And make sure that everyone screaming your name You say a lot for a man who can't say a word No time for grief All I do is work One day we'll have everyone singing along Put all of my pain in this song Hopefully one day I'm spreading the message There's a lot of pain I haven't mentioned I got my hoodie on I'm looking up to the sky Maybe I can be the one My fear always said I had to run You watched me write three albums Took that long to overcome I became a different person after it's all said and done I owe it all to you, may you live forever in my son... I put the words on the paper The paint on the canvas I build up in anger and yell out "This isn't right!" I'm looking for answers, get lost inside my mind I give my heart into these lines Ah! I wish I woulda known there wasn't time then Living it to the fullest when You were here and alive Back before you ever died Goin to explore in high places Crawling in caves and Wouldve cherished every second I had Wish you could still be here when I'm becoming a dad My kids would have someone to look to Same as I did when I looked to you My life is forever changed Every day so dark and grey All of those days I looked out at the rain Begging god for a second chance To go back and do it again Damn... I wonder what I will do if I never find my way And I know when I look to you it's a lie when I say that I'm not afraid But I know you're looking to me to carry the name And I will have a son And I will name him Eric James In memory of you and what we went through I know you would be glad and have a smile on your face While you're up there in heaven basking in forevers grace I promise to you that one day I'll make it to fame And make sure that everyone screaming your name