Drowning

I know that I need to have A little bit more patience I know that I can't stand to see The look on your face when I'm working late all the time But I do this for us I know it don't seem like it right now But I need you to trust me And the direction I'm headed Cause I know life can get us down And keep us there if we let it So if your down just remember I'm only one call away Filling ash trays of these memories That won't go away Cause no matter what I do I swear you're always on my mind Breaking out my box And I'm no longer gonna hide The feelings of a man With the issues that I have And I know you gonna judge Before you even know the half Of the shit that I went through As I was growing up Always was alone While mom was always using drugs Just to make the pain my father gave her go away Guess that's why she blames me For the way she is today I know I'm trying hard To find my way home My past has left these scars But they won't tear me apart Cause I've been down I've been broken I've had faith I've been hopeless Feel like I'm drowning I'm holding my breath As I come to the surface Feel like when you look at me You're always trying to hide The fact that you're sad And a part of me has wondered why Think it might be You missed ninety percent of my life Or the fact I am the man I wish you were when I was five Cause the man I am today now is no thanks to you at all Five years didn't even get a call Remember playing ball And looking in the stands After every single play Hoping that I would see my dad A man I thought I knew Who would be proud to see his son But mom told me Now son that day is never gonna come Remember all those times You would sleep for days in a row Thinking you'd wake from a dream But dad this the life that you chose Cause now you crossed me And I will never trust you like I did Through thick and thin Man I would always be there for my kid I don't understand How you could leave me alone And I'm still hoping one day You finally pick up the phone Cause I know I know I'm trying hard To find my way home My past has left these scars But they won't tear me apart Cause I've been down I've been broken I've had faith I've been hopeless Feel like I'm drowning I'm holding my breath As I come to the surface (Yeah) As I come to the surface (As I come up) As I come to the surface I feel like I'm drowning I'm holding my breath As I come to the surface (As I come up) I know I'm trying (I'm trying) To hold my breath I'm trying so hard To hold my breath As I come up to the surface (Tryna hold on) Cause I know I'm trying hard (I am) To find my way home (I'm coming home) My past has left these scars (Yeah they have) But they won't tear me apart (Nah) Cause I've been down I've been broken (Few times) I've had faith I've been hopeless (Now I) Feel like I'm drowning I'm holding my breath As I come to the surface