In My Head (feat. Maryam)

Throw all your stick and stones But you won't, won't break my bones Tear me apart and spit me out But I'm standing my ground I won't let you fool me again I know this pain is all in my head Throw all your stick and stones But you won't, won't break my bones Tear me apart and spit me out But I'm standing my ground I won't let you fool me again I know this pain is all in my head If I'm going through hell why the hell would I stop? How am I feeling good when I know that I'm not I think the pain is better than I thought It makes me sane that I can be this strong But I'm wrong One more hit and I'm gone Vision fading and now I cannot just stop Wake up in the bed I'm shaking, tryna talk with God Tryna tell him I'm not the one who's strong, I'm lost Maybe if I try to get wasted then I'll forget about my struggles and face them when I'm sober the next day or later when I realise who am I, man I'm breakin' in I break into my chest To see why I'm a mess Is it cuz of heartbreak or less? Is it cuz of uncured ache on my chest Or is it cuz of life and the pain and all the regrets You and I are quite the same in How we deal with pain, but hey I'm just a guy, who's brain is Full of cries, now say this "I'm alive but brainless Time to play this song When you feel you're lost Throw all your stick and stones But you won't, won't break my bones Tear me apart and spit me out But I'm standing my ground I won't let you fool me again I know this pain is all in my head The question that keeps poppin' into my head Is if I can somehow find a way to use this mess As a means to make money off me being depressed Give teens songs to deal with what they resent An answer for this question you must give me Do we ever heal? Or are we just busy See now that I've convinced myself that I'm fine I still store my trauma's at the back of my mind And I don't know what to do while livin' this life All I know is that I'm different, I'm tired I'm tired cuz I haven't been fine for a while Am I tryin' to rise or will I deny Will I just lie to myself in order to just slide My pain away and act like I'm blind? I ain't see no struggle I seem so fine But I look in the mirror and I see this light I feel so empty Yet heart still heavy I feel so numb Yet I feel it all at once I'm a livin' breathin' contradiction That never really wants to stop and listen Throw all your stick and stones But you won't, won't break my bones Tear me apart and spit me out But I'm standing my ground I won't let you fool me again I know this pain is all in my head