Song parody of
Jesus Murphy
by An Unkindness
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Jesus Murphy hung his hat up by the door
Said to his apartment: I don't wanna work there anymore
Took his dinner from the freezer to the microwave
Ate it at the table where his phone held his gaze
He tried to ignore the existential dread
Watched some TV, had a shower and went to bed
He pulled the covers up over his head
Said to the darkness: I wish I was dead
Jesus Murphy woke up the next day
Swallowed some coffee, then he was on his way
He sat down at his desk and his neighbour said: How are you?
And then he lied and said: I’m fine, thank you, and you?
Then he set his mind on some mindless task
And did whatever his ungrateful boss asked
He looked for the purpose that he longed to find
And he escaped by going deep inside his mind
Has no one to lead
Has no one to feed
Not the chosen one
A disappointing son
In water he sinks
His blood is not to drink
No water into wine
His father’s not divine
Can't heal the sick
No temptation by Old Nick
No need to crucify
For your sins, he will not die
He led his colleagues
Up the stairs
Told the management
You must be fair
He said: Shame on you
For disrespecting these folks
But now I’m here
And we cast off the yokes
Then he healed Gary
With a Halls for his cough
And told Janet’s demons
To buzz off
He touched the modem
And increased the bandwidth
And fed two dozen colleagues
With a tuna sandwich
Walked across the wet floor
And scoffed at the sign
He raised Larry from his nap
And ran out the swine
But Julian
From Accounting
Sold him out
For three extra weeks of paid vacation
And the managers
Crucified him
On the copier machines
And they put a crown
Made of tacks
Right upon his head
And they stabbed him
In the side
With a ballpoint pen
But after
The three day weekend
Jesus Murphy rose again
Jesus Murphy hung his hat up by the door
Said to his apartment: I just can’t take it anymore
Skipped his dinner and just stared at the wall
Whispered to the emptiness: I don’t have anyone at all
Then he took some pills so that he could sleep
Stared at the ceiling, while he counted sheep
The next morning, his alarm beeped beside his head
But Jesus Murphy just stayed right there in bed
Jesus Murphy hung his hat up by the door
Said to his apartment: I don't wanna work there anymore
Took his dinner from the freezer to the microwave
Ate it at the table where his phone held his gaze
He tried to ignore the existential dread
Watched some TV, had a shower and went to bed
He pulled the covers up over his head
Said to the darkness: I wish I was dead
Jesus Murphy woke up the next day
Swallowed some coffee, then he was on his way
He sat down at his desk and his neighbour said: How are you?
And then he lied and said: I’m fine, thank you, and you?
Then he set his mind on some mindless task
And did whatever his ungrateful boss asked
He looked for the purpose that he longed to find
And he escaped by going deep inside his mind
Has no one to lead
Has no one to feed
Not the chosen one
A disappointing son
In water he sinks
His blood is not to drink
No water into wine
His father’s not divine
Can't heal the sick
No temptation by Old Nick
No need to crucify
For your sins, he will not die
He led his colleagues
Up the stairs
Told the management
You must be fair
He said: Shame on you
For disrespecting these folks
But now I’m here
And we cast off the yokes
Then he healed Gary
With a Halls for his cough
And told Janet’s demons
To buzz off
He touched the modem
And increased the bandwidth
And fed two dozen colleagues
With a tuna sandwich
Walked across the wet floor
And scoffed at the sign
He raised Larry from his nap
And ran out the swine
But Julian
From Accounting
Sold him out
For three extra weeks of paid vacation
And the managers
Crucified him
On the copier machines
And they put a crown
Made of tacks
Right upon his head
And they stabbed him
In the side
With a ballpoint pen
But after
The three day weekend
Jesus Murphy rose again
Jesus Murphy hung his hat up by the door
Said to his apartment: I just can’t take it anymore
Skipped his dinner and just stared at the wall
Whispered to the emptiness: I don’t have anyone at all
Then he took some pills so that he could sleep
Stared at the ceiling, while he counted sheep
The next morning, his alarm beeped beside his head
But Jesus Murphy just stayed right there in bed
