My Story

I don’t believe anymore I lost all my hope I lost everything, only thing that stuck with me is what I wrote Some nights when I’m alone I’m looking for a rope Police banging on our door with guns, looking for the dope This is not what kids are supposed to go through But I keep thinking like, don’t let your past control you too many fake friends never cared about my wellbeing While a home full of drugs and violence is what I’ve been seeing I put on a mask knowing things will never change Hide all problems, tell me if you know a better way All I want is break out of this fucked up place I’m in Go through life only caring ’bout mistakes I make within Keep kicking me down I will take it in I feel too weak to fight against it and they can sense it I just don’t wanna die with too many missed chances Every good feeling or moment it passes This is my story, some of my worst memories My story, suicidal tendencies My story, some of my worst memories My story, listen this is my story This is my story, some of my worst memories My story, suicidal tendencies My story, some of my worst memories My story, listen this is my story I could die right now I bet no one would give a shit What does the darkness taste like? Pure bitterness I had to grow up quick, was always left alone Emergency number was always the most dialled on my phone 'Cause me and my mom were being beaten again Even though it was him who was cheating again I will never forget these images But at least it taught me to burn bridges Before it’s too late, some people can ruin your life And make you fear for your life every fucking night I’ve learned that you can’t trust nobody I grew up learning to live with no money Eviction notice in the mailbox almost every month Then we got kicked out, I stood there with a loaded gun staring at the mirror about to pull the trigger Then I swear I heard a whisper: “Don’t” This is my story, some of my worst memories My story, suicidal tendencies My story, some of my worst memories My story, listen this is my story This is my story, some of my worst memories My story, suicidal tendencies My story, some of my worst memories My story, listen this is my story A few days ago my best friend killed herself I couldn’t stop her. Told me she just couldn’t keep fighting through the pain Since then nothing has been the same Why do I think that I’m the one to blame It’s sad how we visit more funerals than wedding Why are the best stories always the first to have an ending They say the good die young and that’s the fucking truth I’m all alone now spilling my heart out in this fucking booth Maybe one day make a living off of selling my tears Selling my fears, hope you like it but please don’t come near I don’t want no one to see me in this condition And in some songs are my worst decisions written down Maybe it’s better if y’all just leave me alone My pain goes so deep that it reaches the bones Can you hear in my tone, I break, every smile, I fake Get away from me, everything else could be a mistake This is my story, some of my worst memories My story, suicidal tendencies My story, some of my worst memories My story, listen this is my story This is my story, some of my worst memories My story, suicidal tendencies My story, some of my worst memories My story, listen this is my story