Wonder Why

I've been up thinking, " It's so late." Wish that it wasn't so cold, aye Wishing that I could hit replay Wonder why nobody will stay? I've been up thinking, " It's so late." Wish that it wasn't so cold, aye Wishing that I could hit replay Wonder why nobody will stay? It's so deranged how I feel Do I feel it all through? So insane for me to think all the times that we hold Little things get to me, I agree that I'm blue By myself, hate to admit it, will I learn to let go? What's the past anyway? It's just pictures and feelings that I can't seem to leave What's wrong with me? Why can't I be free? Why can't I just be? Simple like, work, go home, eat, sleep Can't fake it if I tried And if I did you wouldn't care Separate my thoughts and my despair Trade it for a smile that I'll always wear I separate my mind from who I was Can't keep you in my heart because it hurts Remind myself that things have been worse Remember that I have so much worth I put my lack of confidence as first priority Wanted me to change, forgive, I'm sorry Wasn't there for you because I parted Had plans for you, I wish they started Should've gave you more, I was so selfish Was so selfish, I was feeling helpless Feeling helpless, wasn't fair to choose Overzealous in pursuit of you I've been up thinking, " It's so late." Wish that it wasn't so cold, aye Wishing that I could hit replay Wonder why nobody will stay? I've been up thinking, " It's so late." Wish that it wasn't so cold, aye Wishing that I could hit replay Wonder why nobody will stay? Ouu, I know, I know, I know I know I come and go Zodiac's paired with that Leo Ouu, you know, you know, you know You know I come and go Can't keep up my self control Let my mind run Don't plan to fall to the drugs But, I sometimes self-indulge Friendly reminder That I'm right behind ya But, don't stand close to me You know I like being lonely I like life most when I'm running But, you only see me ever walking Most the time it's paired with talking Now Ain't That Too Funny Ain't shit, and I know it Ain't shit, and I'll show it Paint it, brush is pointed Paint it, color's boring Sang it Am I good at it? In the car, I tend to practice Falling on my mattress Covers wrap me in the sadness I know I know I know that I'm a joke to you I know I know I'm falling, but there's hope with you Ouu I know I know Won't you take this time so I don't have to wonder why?