Back Again

There's something wrong with me I'm obsessed with sex Now that I'm going to AA I need to go to Sexual Compulsives Anonymous Next And design a sex plan With an inner circle Of things I will not do And a middle circle Of things that offer A little room And then an outer circle Aimed at having things other than sex In my life too Hiking Playing guitar Hanging out with friends But I already do all of those things To an extent Maybe I just need a boyfriend Maybe I just need to remove the modem From my computer again So I can't go into chat rooms And stay there all day Maybe I need a job In addition To school I'll be running out of money soon So I send out resumes I want a job in the arts But no one responds to my applications So I have to go back to my old workplace In logistics and moving freight But I'm on my AA ninth step Of making amends And when I was in charge of payroll I stole from them I padded my hours So I have to tell them about it And apologize And give them a cheque Or work for them for free For a while They say they don't really mind I was always a good worker And they like me It would be too complicated for them To take a cheque Or for me to work for free So I decide I'll just work Until I feel like I've paid of my debt to them And donate part of my paycheck To some kind of good cause or charity But even though I'm working I'm still obsessed with sex With searching out sex With having sex With thinking about sex Maybe I'm trying to avoid something What could I be trying to avoid? Maybe I can make a list Of all my fears Fear one I'll end up alone I'll be too needy or independent For anyone Fear two could be That I'll get stuck with someone I don't like Or who doesn't like me But I don't think that's very likely I'm oh so good at getting out of relationships How many have I gotten into And out of Just in the last week? One, two, three (And that was just on the first day) Four (The second day, I pretty much took a break) Five, six (But one of those I may see again) Then there's that cute guy Who is studying to become a dentist I was with him almost all Saturday And we never had sex He thinks after I finish my bachelor's I should get my master's degree Maybe if I get all my paperwork in He'll finally have sex with me Maybe I should get a master's anyway But in what? I'm starting to like Just driving a delivery truck Bringing parts to technicians Who are fixing broken copying machines Flashing a smile I'm like Johnny Appleseed But I also like writing music And my mom really thinks that's what I should do Even when I was doing lots of drugs And she knew Or was pretty sure She still bought a new Keyboard for me And I met somebody recently In a chat room Who is apparently A music industry Executive So I go and visit him And he's kind of flirting with me Even though he's like 50 And he says he likes my music But he has no idea what my lyrics mean You need to have a story he says to me So one day I'm at the beach And suddenly this story comes to me For a musical play It's really exciting More exciting than delivering parts And there's still time to get my paperwork in For a new writing Master's of fine arts Because it's a new program It'll probably be easy to get in The dentist and I have drifted apart And we never did have sex But I'll apply to get my master's anyway And I met someone else in a chat room Just yesterday He's a Broadway Playwright How weird is that? Is it coincidence? Is it fate? He's not too old So we did have sex A lot of it Inner circle sex Middle circle sex And we even ventured around In my outer circle But I keep getting itchy skin Well, all of my life I've had bouts of itchy skin But they went away for a while And now they're back again