Trading Cards

Inside the mirror, my father's face and I lock into a standstill Muddy green, life-stained eyes A matter of moral compasses and crime What we beg for in silence is what we reach in hindsight Suppose fear was my scripture, time, an answer from some God Faith fades into stubbornness, soon discover what you're not Slammed doors and loud voices, "I'll clean the mess while you're gone" Reevaluate my value like old trading cards Wish we could've left under different circumstances Why do the growing pains feel the need to hurt so bad Demons in my brain, monsters below the mattress I'll do all that I can do with the effort you never had Couldn't hold a job long and a magnet to new sorrows Old movies and liquor bottles seemed to soothe a lost cause Bought you a superman mug in hopes that it would solve all The problems early on and the violence you taught Walked out in cold handcuffs, didn't stay inside them Blurred the lines for many years, memories and battle scars I no longer cry for those simply incapable I tend to tattered, worn boxes like old trading cards Wish we could've left under different circumstances Why do the growing pains feel the need to hurt so bad Demons in my brain, monsters below the mattress I'll do all that I can do with the effort you never had Your reflection still remains, while I'm the one who must refrain Nightmares are necessary to provoke better dreams in the dark Thank you for being what you knew how to be Because now I just write it out upon lines and cell phone screens Too short a life to be angry, too young to hold such a grudge And my mother's been smiling lately, so I see that I am loved I know of hope and how anxiety stings the heart Bless faces aged with time now like the tops of old trading cards Get better, be better, do better, get better, be better, do better Trying my best, I'm trying, when I'm the only one of us to care Get better, be better, do better, get better, be better, do better Isn't it ironic that your absence kept me all there