Normal Gigs

I don't do normal gigs I do awkward gigs I do Yorkshire gigs You can guarantee that it's not my sort of shit But I still drag myself up out of my comfort zone cos I love my home Gripping tight to the dice till it's right for another roll Cos two things can happen once I exit my safe place Summat good, or summat bad will take place Cos I dunno if you didn't know but I'm little known So promoters booking me aren't guaranteed a ticket sold Hard sell for them and a hard sell for me Trying to hustle online with the heartfelt-est tweet Most people don't go to gigs... even if it's free And rap is so rarely right live, the reasons tend to be Bad sound, bad mic technique, bad acoustics And sound guys that know what they're doing are mad elusive I don't do normal gigs I do awkward gigs Where I support some dick Whose online presence is glorious And he can chuck a couple crumbs from the table to the promotion disabled Cos I'm not able to drum up the same interest And support slots were once a sure shot Nowadays groups opening up for big artists will invest Buy onto the tour, it might open the door While I hope for applause from my localish audience And every gig is always on some awkward shit The money's crap, timing's change, sound is awfulness "Oh watch out for the the mic lead mate it's a bit dodgy" - course it is The headliner wants to go on before I spit So they can get their money and call it quits Cos this venue's not designed for rap performances I don't do normal gigs I do awkward gigs I do warm up gigs And act like I motherchuffin' tore that shit Day after I'm on Twitter and Instagram like the flippin' man "Bigup to this and that, last night was the friggin' jam" Rappers are always buzzing after gigs, it was probably lame Trying to find a pic where you can't tell nobody came How do you make a room of twelve people look busy When DJs check their emails and play a whole city? Hundreds of people packing in to dance To summat they've listened to for years, man I understand That's why old bands are killing it We all love the familiar Still touring stadiums with albums from last millennium Give the new guy a look-in "What's he cooking?" A track about how his gigs are crap "Fuck him" I don't do normal gigs I do boring gigs 8 acts on, doors at 6 By 9 even the promoter starts to snore and shit There's a few people with pints A few here for the night But they'll speak all the time that you speak on a mic To me, yeah that's alright But see what is the point? Buy a record at the door - go home to your life But playing live does have its good sides And it's always when the audience is having a good time Just right, sound and mic's cool, good level in the monitors And everyone's bopping along solidly to your offerings And probably the reason I'm so down on it Is cos the amount I've done where the sound is shit Go to Northamptonshire, Corby town for gigs Cos time and time again man the crowd is sick But mostly I don't do normal gigs I don't get booked for the awesome gigs How can I talk to the audience When there's four of em? I don't do normal gigs I do awkward gigs I don't do normal gigs