Messy

I am so happy I am so giddy I am grinning life has meaning i feel love inside of me But then this pain inside pushes me away, takes it all, makes me run and hide And I am so sad, i don't belong, i am no one, i want to leave this life i want it gone But then this burning inside pushes me away, reminds me why i am this way And I'm, so fucking angry! I want to hurt you and desert you where no one can save you from my hate But then this pain inside opens my eyes to the reality that this is my life! And I'm, so fucking scared! I'm unaware of all the fear that i would find When i came here but then this pain turned to light unconsciously, endlessly i rained from the sky Hiding from inside, I'm crawling to find why I'm peeling away at my face Dying to know why the things I've locked inside have left me here without a trace What's this thing i see this picture before me resembles a great wall of sin For this thing i see in this picture of me Is my own self detriment Blinding my eyes, burning my mind Like the final droplet, running from my grin Cleansing my eyes, melting with time What is this binding my life? So i descend more into these deep caverns of my suppressed insanity Loss of self follows but soon the unhallowed beast that hides inside is finally free Twisting and turning my mind, taking over my life, i don't know what i am now Twisting and turning my life, taking over my mind, i don't know who i am now I can't see through my eyes, i can feel through my hands, what is this binding my life? I can't see through my hands i can feel through my eyes please just give me back my life So here i sit in my deep dark dense pit of self abuse and mental decay Dying to know why the things I've locked inside have found me and now want their final words with me And i can't seem to comprehend, can't seem to coincide, with what they say i just want to die Can't seem to comprehend, can't seem to coincide, so i choose death over life In comes pumping the life that lets me see, in comes pumping the life that lets me breath In comes pumping the Everlasting energy of fate Born again, i leave behind my sin Born again I'm pure and free within Born again, the blood starts leaking though Born again, i wake up inside of you