Nothin' Left

Sometimes I really wish I could pull up with a crew Sometimes I really wish I didn't give a fuck about you I loved her so much even in the seventh grade But I dismissed it as something that would fade I tried to move on but I couldn't do it I couldn't make it last My life had gone too fast All I wanted was to hear a gun go blast For the bullet to reach my head and make me go out like flash Quick and painless, make my life go splash Take ten bullets to the head, bitch I'd rather be dead, I feel like everything just for pretend Love isn't real it always ends, I couldn't be happy and always duck feds, I really just tore my Life into shreds I couldn't make life ever go my way I couldn't get myself to be happy and play The only time I felt was to cry all day I had nothin left, nothing to say I never talked even to my closest friends My life was just a lie, happiness was pretend I thought it would all end before the next year But here I am livin with no fear But I still can't live with any cheer Rather take ten shots then a bellyful of beer I saw so much death and so much suicide One day I decided that things could take a tide It started going well fell in love real quick Threw it all in the can I came off like lipstick, yeah I didn't have a plan thought I'd just roll with the flow But then the current switched and threw me down real low I tried to call for help but no one picked up the phone I might've ran fast but everything felt so slow, yeah Betrayed 10 times I can't trust nobody They tried talkin shit started turning bloody Had no family, never had a real buddy No role models just desire for some money You wonder why I can't trust anyone My bestfriends introduced me to their gun Jumped 2 times really ruined my fun Everyone's a damn fake, but I still won I got involved in many fights and many different lights While I was wearin loose jeans you was wearing tights I did so much but still couldn't make it right I was waiting for something in my life to take flight But nothing ever came, everyone became lame My closest friends were leaving me for fame They tried to calm me down but I was never tame No matter what happened it was always me to blame I couldn't make life ever go my way I couldn't get myself to be happy and play The only time I felt was to cry all day I had nothin left, nothing to say I never talked even to my closest friends My life was just a lie, happiness was pretend I thought it would all end before the next year But here I am livin with no fear But I still can't live with any cheer Rather take ten shots then a bellyful of beer I had no chance, my future was clear I don't fear others, only myself .50 Cal wit no pal call it elf on the shelf I try to change but someday I'll go back Breaking every promise, endin up in a shack I looked into the mirror only saw death So took 4 sedatives, hoping for my last breath But I stayed alive, kept quiet for years Until one day I could truly say cheers Now I worry every day that I try it again And don't get so lucky, or as happy as then But now Ima grind and never stop winning Until someday I look back and start grinnin