H P P D

I'm waking up I'm feeling strange I crack open my eyes They're crusty plus my mouth is stale I take my time to rise My head is heavy body aching and to my surprise I realize this ain't the place I fell asleep last night I roll on over off the couch face down Smash my mouth on the ground bloody lip dripping on the carpet I clean the mess with a rag find my bag Reach into the front pocket grab a spliff and begin to spark it I walk around the house hollering hello I ask if somebody could share with me some info I ask if anyone's there but nobody says so Think I'm talking to myself I try to head home I walk up to the front door of the place Paranoia sets in hits me dead in the face Heart beat beat beating at a violent pace I breathe in exit the house and make a dash to the gate I take a step off the porch trip and fall into darkness Mind spiraling out quick thinking I've lost it Til I wake up in my bed covered in sweaty skin The clock says 3 am, not this again I don't know what I'm looking at when I look in the mirror The picture that is looking back doesn't look very clear I don't know what I'm looking at when I look in the mirror The picture isn't quite right, the picture isn't quite right Kaleidoscopic vision taking hold over your system Pulsing to the rhythm of the wind whipping words of wisdom I ask permission then proceed graciously through the trees Soaking in the different colors of the leaves, listen I wanna make amends, shaking hands with the enemy Telling me I'm alive and then breaking waves in the energy And I'll be an anomaly, watching from over top of me Do I see any light when I look up into infinity? Endless array of darkness, the heart an illusive artist We make him up in our heads and assess what he says is honest and true Were just delusional fools stuck in our youth like I gotta prove what I do is better than you, I'm Purely dramatic as I talk over the static Egoistic narcissistic saying all I want is this I'm on a mission from god, get out of my head, this isn't your fault You gotta be sick to think this music is the only thing you are Too far away to save the day out of the cave you must escape To see the light to make the art you must create to save your heart And then again you must return to spread the news to all the world Who sit and mock you as you squint to see the shadows they adore So are you ready? The biggest joke of them all is pretty heavy It's a dark humor, spark fire spreading the rumor Of a dream reality, things aren't quite as they seem Because the dreams inside my head are just as real as you and me I have a crazy fantasy inside my head I write the story as I'm laying in my bed Some nights I prophesize of peace and happiness And some nights I say nothing Trusting in the other me who can speak freely Who knows no fears and cheers as the enemies flee Who holds life dear and sneers at the greedy and weak Who seems so near, he's here then I blink and he leaves Far too often I'm exhausted, getting nervous when I've lost it And I soften and I'm coughing and my blood runs like a faucet From my heart up to my head and then I'm starting to acknowledge That the pain would probably halt if I just up and fucking offed it Stop this, you're nauseous, you're sick as hell And you know better than to trust it when you don't feel well Give it a rest until you get on back to being yourself This is the test, there ain't no grade it's just a pass or fail I'm always logical it just might be the death of me Cause there's no logic here as far as I can see I think about it every night when I'm asleep I'm not so sure I know what any of this means