Butterfly

I have never felt so alone Used to like it this way When she left she took my soul Kept my heart in dismay Desperation comes and goes Suffering's a mainstay Though I know she helped me grow Now I could give a fuck what they say Never miss an opportunity to squander one Ruthlessly I con along and lucidly I ponder on If truthfully I got it wrong or my perception was spot on Doesn't matter anymore? Tell that to my withered poor Heart and soul left broken battered Harsh and cold, I know I matter Even though disposal shattered spirit So so hopeless, scattered Best friend in the whole wide planet Least with two legs, oh hi Sasha That's my baby - love her like good parents love their kids yo When she pass I'm out of here Call my pussy, coward, weird Freak if you like - give a fuck what you think That's some real shit Music been dope, grew from grim hope Care less if you feel it Opinion's worth as little as I felt I was when she split Seem sick, it's cause I am - mind stay in the gutter man Needs a cleansing, fiend for ending this life in a breath quick Is it called cross dress if I rock a long tight ropey necklace And is that something country bumpkin's might not be impressed with Honest guess is yes bitch - on my death bed let's sit And pre-tend that it isn't over, dreams end wake up cold and sober Taught me to lucid dream and all I could do was fiend To see her face and tell her something Never knew that hell was coming Jilted be subliminally, still I didn't see Foolishly figured we the epitome of symmetry Thought we'd go together on some BPD and DBT shit Hopin' she'd kapiche my state emotionally Appreciate it totally And even maybe grow with me On some "please please baby don't you see" That weak debased and phony me is long dead Now there's only the real thing tainted, broke but free Don't pretend there's hope for me To ever live a life with meaning Tried so hard to soothe the screaming Silently inside of me Drown it out with loudness now But hear it on those quiet evenings Feel that inner riot seething Feel that inner riot seething Feel that inner riot Maybe I'm a violent being deep down but I lie and cheat And try and be the righteous me society would like to see Like to think I'm better but been on the brink forever And they cannot grip my tether so if I slip I'm never comin' back Like to think I'm better but been on the brink forever And they cannot grip my tether so if I slip I'm never comin' back Said if I slip I'm never comin' back Freak show paragon, deemed broke bad and wrong Theme so sad and sombre, death rap's my genre Ain't classified at JB, won't hear it on the J's, please They seem so Alan Bond lately I'm still havin' fun with it, content to just kick it Till they attempt to fuck with it Then I'll get my savage on, on some beast mode mastadon shit Shit is bleak yo, that's just honest Bucket list long, my fuck it list longer Turn this rap game into fuckin' Dishonored Stealth killin' shit, guess I felt ill equipped Way back in the day, now I'm packin' that blade That'll lacerate faces like havin' a shave with A can of that mace shit, Mortein for rapists And other wack plagues who masquerade human Then suffocate burnin', that's just fate loomin' This music wouldn't exist without her Maybe I would though, so Should I be upset or thankful Guess that I feel both, oh Not for all my little words Splendid butterfly soul Wings that make her beautiful Gracefully she fly away from me