Ode to Seashells

I left myself in the dark somehow I never had no know how, I was always way too proud I just knew love was not allowed Somehow, some way I've ended up in a spider web of love and lust Trying to figure out what is meant for me And what is just in my face to see if my heart Is really as good as I think it is I know the universe is fucking with me Trying to see if I'm really up for the test And see if my dumbass thinks that I know whats best for me See if I'm really about this destiny Lord knows how much I hate feeling like something is testing me Trying me For once I'm trying me I just want to try and be Somehow, some way you satisfy me Every lust that I ever had you fulfill And I never know if I'm rocking back and forth to the devils violin Or if this is life, yea The life that I've always wanted right here Chasing my dreams and somehow got to the halfway mark And damn you're right there In my dreams looking damn close to a nightmare You're my absolute worse fear Oh dear What have I gotten myself into? God quit playing just let me know if it's you I didn't answer the phone three times You might as well just tell me who Or where or something Because I know you're up to something I know you got something up your sleeves Even my enemies are into me Since when has this been my thing Still in love with life I feel even more in between My reflection is a love song starring me featuring me In the meantime Im just gonna continue to make bad decisions Satisfy my nigga Praying to God he don't want another sister Hoping God will quit playing on my phone and tell me whats up Running from love because my heart is fucked Damn Pam, this shit is tough Painting red flags white, calling love lust Writing instead of talking because my mouth is shit Sexing and not meshing because talk is tough Moaning and groaning because this is love Asking for more because one is never enough One is just never enough