Waiting

Dear everyone I've told I love I've tried and tried again, but you only seem to want someone who treats you horribly I tell you the truth and you ignore me I guess ill just be waiting I feel like it was a dream I believed what we had was real Because it seemed so vivid It felt so physical I remember the first time that I heard you laugh I smiled every time that I looked over and caught a glance Everyday felt like a victory Everyday I told myself its meant to be Victory or misery It won't change my solidity It just affects me mentally Instinctively it seems to be That I am clinically depressed My anger and sadness is suppressed Insomnia takes over so I cant rest My life right now is such a mess Nothings going right so I turn left Feel alone so I just rap to express Im barely happy, I got no friends I was just a shy kid now look whats left I'll be, I'll be here waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting Dear Everyone I care about Im sorry im not this person you want me to be And im sorry im not amazing in every way But don't ask me to change because im me I get mixed feelings every day I wake up and don't feel the same I seem fine but inside im going insane Tell you I love you now I feel deranged My emotions aren't a fuckin game Don't try to make me change I've been waiting but you never came Beg me to come back but im done You only get my trust once Im a person who loves life and is full of lust Don't treat me like a spec of dust Im not what everybody wants to be but I do this because its what I love You can disagree you can distrust But I refuse to slow down because of your opinion If this is surviving then im not livin I told you how I feel and I've been down ever since then I was so close to happiness but now my sadness is driven I'll be, I'll be here waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting I don't even know how I can conclude this Think of you and nothing else matters But then I remember when I told you and you never responded I don't know what im supposed to do Everything I say Everything I do Hear it again it all leads to you I've been waitin this entire time all for you No clue what I should do So I just write music in my room Im so god damn confused I guess I'll forever have no use I'll be, I'll be here waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting I'll be, I'll be here waiting, waiting