Sould-Dier

I think a few people got me Twisted and bent Bout who slime is And what i represent Not gone sit here and act like Im just heaven sent So heres my story The raw unedited May 13 back in 97 Real nigga was born and blessed By the reverend Yeah i was born catholic Not many people know Father son holy spirit for ya info Father was never around Mane he in and out of jail Abused my moms Yeah he put her through hell Moved in with grams Round the corner from Wooddale I could hear gunshots When i went to check the mail Private school from Pre-K On up through the fourth School in the hood What the opposite of the Norf Seen a lot of shit before I had jumped off the porch Moms is my OG So she passed me the torch I aint have my own room Til about grade 5 Mama lost her job a while back We barely survived Sleeping two to a bed We always well fed Aint have much Least we had somewhere To lay our heads I got bullied Picked on teased and tormented Not just kids at school But my own damn sibling I had 0 self esteem by the time i was 11 Used to write in my journal God please send me to heaven Didn't get easier When i moved to the burbs New kid on the block Damn right i was nervous Trynna get in where i fit in Trynna find my purpose Labeled ghetto by the rich kids Had me hurting Next comes high school It didn't get no better By then i wrote at least A hundred suicide letters I can make looking broken Look so well put together Put a mask on my face And pretend its whatever Nobody thinks a black kid Can have depression So they silence your cries To put em into suppression Like my childhood trauma Didn't have no connection People have it a lot worse Didn't make me realize my blessings Got my first real boyfriend We on and off Made it all the way to college Then we soon fell off He'd been unfaithful After that i was completely unstable Wishing his mistakes weren't true And they're merely just fables Then reality hits Go through a whole bunch of shit Even though back to the times When i slit my wrist Hand a handful of pills crying This is it All the pain i went through Was no longer worth it How could God love someone Who is so imperfect Lost my aunt and my grandma Within a year Just three months apart I only shed one tear Couldve been dead a long time ago But nigga I'm here I been through hell and back So its nothing i fear I had people turn they back on me Did me so green I dealt with niggas who only want Whats in between I got bitches who don't like me That i aint never seen I don't have the good life Its not as good as it seems Mane i smoke so much Family think I'm a fiend Yeah i smoke I still get shit done Know what i mean Left out just a couple memories Like i had to do Some of my enemies Update I'm getting better mentally Focused on melodies Building up my equities Yeah my story's not finished Yeah its only the beginning Not gone let my rough start Ruin my happy ending You can still be blessed If you out here sinning At the end of every night Just make sure you repenting Im a soul-dier