The Feast of King Henry VIII

The lettuce heads cried, "don't chop us in half" And they screamed for their vegetable lives The cook just smiled, and he let out a laugh And his eyes shone like knives The cream separated, and the milk was skimmed And the fork ran away with the spoon The curtains were drawn, and the lights were dimmed And music filled the room A chorus line of new spring chicks All tender to the taste One by one jumped into the mouth Of a hungry King Henry VIII King Henry Let me sit here by your side And tell me All good things you would confide I don't mean to seem indelicate Don't think that I'm ungrateful But I'd rather be an ally Than be stuck on your plate, oh, whoa no! Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew (ooh, wah, wah, wah) Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew (ooh, wah, wah, wah) The meatmen brang a little loin of lamb And cut a keg of oaken wood But we all dined on tofutti and spam Just as the civilized should The king and all his cousins made up a baker's dozen So tell it to the farmer in the dell To never mind the stuffin' and the feudin' and the fussin' And the Frog Prince in the well The fat queen rolled out a peal of a snort And laughed as the cider got hard "Off with her head!" the king was quick to retort And it rolled out across the yard King Henry Let me sit here by your side And tell me All good things you would confide I don't mean to seem indelicate Don't think that I'm ungrateful But I'd rather be an ally Than be stuck on your plate, oh, whoa no! Oh no! Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew (ooh, wah, wah, wah) Food chew be bop Food chew be bop Food chew be bop, food chew (ooh, wah, wah, wah)