Song parody of
No Charge
by Melba Montgomery
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My little boy came into the kitchen this evening
While I was fixing supper
And he handed me a piece of paper he'd been writing on
And after wiping my hands on my apron
I read it - and this is what it said
For mowing the yard - five dollars
And for making my own bed this week - one dollar
And for going to the store - fifty cents
An' playing with little brother, while you went shopping
Twenty-five cents
Taking out the trash - one dollar
Getting a good report card - five dollars
And for raking the yard - two dollars
Total owed - fourteen seventy-five.
Well, I looked at I'm standing there expectantly
And a thousand memories flashed through my mind
So I picked up the pen, turning the paper over,
This is what I wrote:
For nine months I carried you
Growing inside me - no charge
For the nights I've sat up with you,
Doctored you, prayed for you - no charge
For the time and the tears.
And the cost through the years, there's no charge
When you add it all up.
The full cost of my love is no charge.
For the nights filled with dread
And the worries ahead - no charge
For advice and the knowledge
And the cost of your college - no charge
For the toys, food and clothes and for wiping your nose
There's NO CHARGE, son
When you add it all up,
The full cost of my love, is - charge.
Well, when he finished readin'
He had great big old tears in his eyes
And he looked up at me and he said,
"Mama, I sure do love you."
Then he took the pen,
And in great big letters
He wrote: "Paid in full."
When you add it all up
The cost of real love is - no charge.
My little boy came into the kitchen this evening
While I was fixing supper
And he handed me a piece of paper he'd been writing on
And after wiping my hands on my apron
I read it - and this is what it said
For mowing the yard - five dollars
And for making my own bed this week - one dollar
And for going to the store - fifty cents
An' playing with little brother, while you went shopping
Twenty-five cents
Taking out the trash - one dollar
Getting a good report card - five dollars
And for raking the yard - two dollars
Total owed - fourteen seventy-five.
Well, I looked at I'm standing there expectantly
And a thousand memories flashed through my mind
So I picked up the pen, turning the paper over,
This is what I wrote:
For nine months I carried you
Growing inside me - no charge
For the nights I've sat up with you,
Doctored you, prayed for you - no charge
For the time and the tears.
And the cost through the years, there's no charge
When you add it all up.
The full cost of my love is no charge.
For the nights filled with dread
And the worries ahead - no charge
For advice and the knowledge
And the cost of your college - no charge
For the toys, food and clothes and for wiping your nose
There's NO CHARGE, son
When you add it all up,
The full cost of my love, is - charge.
Well, when he finished readin'
He had great big old tears in his eyes
And he looked up at me and he said,
"Mama, I sure do love you."
Then he took the pen,
And in great big letters
He wrote: "Paid in full."
When you add it all up
The cost of real love is - no charge.
