Kitchen Floor

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Lucky Doug Fergus

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Where else can we go to play this game?
It's freezing in my bedroom
And Jody is practicing drums in the garage
The wheels won't roll on the carpet so where next?

Let's go down to the basement, oh great!
Jennifer is already here she's riding her horse
But then she says
"What about the kitchen?" Of course!

The kitchen floor, what a place undeveloped open space
We'll move the tale and chairs nobody will care
No place like it anywhere, the kitchen floor

Tonight when the girls come over we'll have it all set up
Popcorn and a jigsaw puzzle
Reconstructing the Eiffel Tower

We're gonna scrub that linoleum until it shines
We're gonna roll out the cookie dough
And bake a few dozen for the boys overseas
While grandpa and the kids go fish on the kitchen floor

The kitchen floor, what a spot soon it's gonna be very hot
We'll have them waiting in line we'll charge 'em a dime 
The only place of it's kind, the kitchen floor

There's kid in the corner and he's trying not to laugh
"Hold still" snaps acute little voice
It's Janet and she's painting his portrait on the wall 
While a housing project goes up in record time

If it's raining outside come in 
And have a nice, hot drink but don't look at the arc
'Cause Neil is wielding a train to its tracks 
And Bill is spreading Jell-O all around

The kitchen floor you can move it's been inspected and county approved
Why don't you give us a call it's right down the hall?
A free bumper sticker to all

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