I Really Don't Hate Christmas

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Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, also known as Professor Time, is a fictional character from the American animated television series Phineas and Ferb. He was created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh, and is voiced by Povenmire. He was originally depicted as an incompetent and forgetful evil scientist intent on conquering the "entire Tri-State Area" by creating obscure but nefarious inventions, despite not technically being a true villain; Doofenshmirtz is shown to have a good side on some occasions. By the end of the series, the character is redeemed, using his inventions for the good of the world and looking after his daughter Vanessa. Dr. Doofenshmirtz speaks with a caricature of a German accent and is from the fictional European country Drusselstein. Doofe… more »

Year:

2010

1:24

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You see Valentines is torture
And my birthday is a mess! 
New Year's is a lot of noise
And Arbor Day's a pest! 
Halloween's a horror, 
But I guess I must confess
That I really don't hate Christmas! 

You see Flag Day is infernal
April Fool's is just a bore
Mardi Grass a waste
Unless you own a candy store
All these other holidays
I can admit that I abhor, 
But I really don't hate Christmas

Now it isn't that I like it, 
At the most I feel ambivalence! 
But should I really just destroy it?
I'll admit that I'm still on the fence
It makes me tense! 
From the evil scientist community
I'm sure to get ejected
But for Christmas I can seem to summon
Any true invective
Because what is there to hate?
I mean it's really so subjective! 
Though I really don't hate Christmas

I hate puppy dogs and kittens, 
I hate flowers in the Spring! 
I even hate the sunshine
And the birdies when they sing
I can work up animosity for almost anything
Tell me why I don't hate Christmas

Though my childhood was atrocious, 
Christmas never was that bad, you see! 
So the best that I can muster
Is complete and total apathy
What's wrong with me?

How can I prove that I'm
An evil villain worth his salt
When with a holiday so jolly
I can't even find a fault?
If I didn't feel ambiguous
I'd launch a big assault! 
But I really don't hate Christmas! 

Ah what the heck? Kick line! 

No I really 
No I really don't hate Christmas! 

I have an intense burning indifference!

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