Smog in the Night

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Robert McAtee

Year:

2014

4:28

76 Views

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I’m cold and alone on your street. I walk to my car, it’s not very far. 
The lights are out and I’m giving in to the face of reality and to why or when. 
How can I walk away? How can I drive away? 
How far can I go without turning around? 
4:30 in the morning on the Hollywood Freeway. The cops are out tonight. 
The lights blur across the road. It’s so cold in California on these winter nights. 
And it doesn’t seem right drivin’ away from what I want . . . what I need but who can change somebody else?  
Nobody can do that. I look in the rearview mirror and it gets smaller ‘til it’s gone. 
But she’s comin’ with me at least in memories. And she’s a mystery that I thought I knew. 
All the clues but things have a way of changing in the blink of an eye. Why? 
That’s the question of the day. I feel like I should be cryin’ and tomorrow I’m flyin’ away. 
For three weeks I’ll be gone. I guess that’ll help me move on and make things right. 
Somehow. Some way. Twenty one days. The radio’s broken and I sing her a song. 
Tonight this road seems so long. I feel like I should cry. 
The lights from the valley light up the smog in the night. 
She’s sleepin’ right now back in Hollywood. 
I feel like I should turn around ‘cause I’ve never found anyone like her in the world. 
What a wonderful girl she is. But I don’t think the world is on our side. 
Don’t know how or why. I feel like I should be smokin’, I don’t know why I feel this way. 
I feel like I should be drinking the night away into the morning. 
But I really feel like I should turn around. 
Speed through the night ‘cause this just doesn’t feel right drivin’ away. Into a new day. 
The heater is getting warm and my eyes are starting to fall. 
My cell phone says 4:32, I still don’t know what I’m going to do. 
But I still keep my foot on the gas and in my mind I’m still lying on top of her. 
Traffic is stopped as they tow some cars away. Accidents sometimes are part of the day. 
Sometimes you just don’t have the right words to say. 
And you leave the words, the wrong words up in the air and you wish you could take them and tear them like a little piece of paper and say them all again. 
I don’t know where or when we’ll see each other again. 
I yawn and I hold onto the wheel sometimes time moves in slow motion when things aren’t going great. 
Sometimes it’s hard to wait for the next time that I’ll see her face. 
I pull up to my place and walk up the stairs. Sometimes I feel like no one really cares. 
I drop my keys and take off my clothes and get under the blanket. But now I can’t sleep. 
I feel like this is a dream. I wish I could feel her warm, naked body wrapped around me.

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