Timothy Treadwell got eaten

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Uncle Monty

Uncle Monty is a fictional character from the movie "Withnail & I," portrayed by actor Richard Griffiths. He is an eccentric and flamboyant former actor who is a close friend of the main characters. He is known for his witty and poetic language, as well as his love for music and gardening. more »

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Well, it was out in the great ulu
Where the grass is green
And the sky is big and blue
That this particular story is set
But before we just get there yet
I will endeavour to set the scene
I think you know just what I mean
For the tale of Timothy Treadwell
Is a hell of a tale to tell
Well he was a drop out from society
A sorry little wannabe
Who did a little drinkin'
Kinda got to thinkin'
I don't like the way my life's going
So I'm headin' on out
To where the buffalo roam
Now give my regards to my old man
Tell him I got a purpose, I got a plan
This mad hatted hombre
Gonna fight for the right
Of the grizzly bear
So off he went in search of Mother Nature
But all he really did was bug the park ranger
Who said, 'what with all you fussin' and creatin
It's the laws of the land
That you are violatin'
And there never was a need for you to make this play
Before you were here
The bears were doin' fine anyway
And this is a message form me to you
Before you know it
You're gonna be on the menu
But Timothy T was a man on a mission
He had a kind heart
But his brain was kinda missin'
And the longer that he spent
With the grizzlies in the ulu
The more he thought
That he was one of them too
He had a funny little name
For every one of them all
The bears were confused
But little Timmy had a ball
It sure done seemed to slip his mind
That they were cold hearted killers
Of the man eatin' kind
Now as you may have guessed
From the title of this song
Our hero lived his dream
But only for so long
For he laboured at
The crazy notion
That he and the grizzlies
Shared the same emotion
It was all just a matter of time
That those bears brought Timmy into line
And though you may object I reckon I oughta
Refer to his end
As a wholesale slaughter
They tucked into his spleen and his marrow and his kidneys and his liver
It made a change from pizza
And besides they don't deliver
His eyeballs and his arsehole
Were also on offer
His girlfriend tried to help
But she also came a cropper
And in spite of the mess
I think that you and I know
That's just the way he would've wanted to go
So here ends the tale of the bear and the bees and the sky and the trees, why the ranger was a stranger, and the ups and the downs and the smiles and the frowns and the life and the death
Of Timothy Treadwell

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