Chapter six: the distressed Homines Erecti

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Federico Delfrati

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At least this is what they perceive
The anxious distance between them, beyond their horizon of events
Is traumatising those two
She writes in her notebook: this is some severe complex PTSD
They're suspicious towards each other and what surrounds them
A constant fear
This is simply too pathetic. She freezes the scene
The pair are the only two vertical elements of a flat horizontal world
Their hands are raised in a desperate act
Forced to look in one direction at a time
While naked to the potential eyes that observe them from all sides
The openness of their environment is the nemesis, the antagonist of their conscience
One, very familiar, intimate world against the vastness of the unknown
She knows what happened after
She adds: There isn't any glimpse of calm in their still action
Perhaps just an infinitesimal fraction of hope that this won't be their last day
She feels sorry for them although she can't do anything besides trying to understand
She walks around their bodies, frozen in time and space
She touches his cheek with a finger and feels the tight jaw underneath the skin
She then switches to her and passes her hand over her forearm
And feels the raised hair and goosebumps
Then she slips in between the two confronting figures
And stares deep inside their black eyes
First her, then him, then her again, then him again
She starts to spin on her feet faster and faster
So that she can see their eyes simultaneously
What were black points before
Begin to turn into a black circle the faster she spins
And she spins extremely fast now
There's only a thick black circle around her
Then the circle becomes a sphere and she's in the middle of it
She starts to perceive what lies beyond the memory of the two subjects
Something like a cross-generational psychoanalysis
Like the always-dying beast in the cave told her
Quite foggy at first, she begins to distinguish patterns
That tend to repeat more often than others
Need, expectation, disappointment, frustration, anger, fear, breakdown
Apathy, disillusion, a mild satisfaction, greed and then need again
All in a loop
She spins too fast now
She falls and vomits with her eyes closed
Thinking that it was a stupid idea after all

When she opens them she's overwhelmed by the spectacle that unfolds all around her
What was a homogeneous curtain of black
Turned to be an extremely thick pattern of tiny dots
Some closer, some way more distant
All seem to be eyes turned towards her
All are rotating in a peaceful circular movement
Pushed by a strong but constant whirlwind
All are worried and confused
She picks up her notebook from the ground
And begins to count them by pointing at them with the pen
Each time she touches one, she draws a mark on a page
The eye then blinks irritated, relaxes and turns white
One, two, three, four, five
One, two, three, four, five
One, two, three, four, five
And so on
One, two, three, four
Everything's white now besides one last black dot quite far away
As she gets closer she feels only a faint breeze brushing her cheeks
And begins to hear a tune
One voice, inside the dot

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