Old Dead White Men

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Rebecca Karpen

5:06

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Everyone I love
Is an old dead white man
I prefer old dead white men
'Cause they can't talk back
They're dead
They're peeling flesh
They have no tongue
Their lives are done

My best friends
Are old dead white men
At least that's what my actual friends say
None of which are old dead white men
"Rebecca please, go outside!
John Adams has been dead since 1826"
"I appreciate how you begin to remember these things"
I say to my friends
After I talk about John Adams once again

I refer to all
My old dead white men
As "Baby boys"
Despite the fact they're not baby boys
They're old dead white men
I speak about them affectionately
'Cause they're dead and they can't talk back
Is objectification of a dead body kind of wack?

My favorite people
Are old dead white men
I can give them complex ideas
More complex than the ones they actually had

I write all my songs about them
Just because you haven't heard my songs
About old dead white men
Doesn't mean that they're not coming
Or they're not already there
I'm just too far self-conscious
To put them out anywhere
Y'know
These old dead white men judge

All my songs
Are about old dead white men
Even the ones that are about me
Are technically about
Old dead white men
I've always considered myself
An old dead white man
Despite the fact
I'm not actually dead
And I'm not old
At least that's not yet

But all my friends are old dead white men
Except my friends who are not old dead white men
I have a diverse set of friends
None of which are old dead white men
I don't hang out in cemeteries
This is not Harold and Maude

I have so many songs
About
Old dead white men
I should have
An old dead white man convention
Otherwise known as Plato's Symposium
I have so many songs
About
Old dead white men
That I should have
An old dead white man convention
Otherwise known as Plato's Symposium

Just a side-note
Was Plato actually a person
In addition to Socrates?
My theory is that
Socrates and Plato
Are the same person
Socrates wrote nothing
Plato wrote it all

What if Plato used Socrates
As a mask
Because he was too insecure
For the Greeks and all?

Y'know how these
Old dead white men are
But this inquiry
Won't get me far
Because that was too fucking long ago
To be relevant now

Old dead white men

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