Stressed

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Tell me what I need
Who am I to be
Drowning in responsibilities sometimes it's hard to breathe
Doing all of this on my own I can only count on me
And sometimes man I get so overwhelmed I can barely count to three
So I'm sayin father please forgive me
I'm not certain if you hear me
I've got so much on my heart
I'm so tired of feeling weary
I said father please forgive me
Jesus take the wheel and steer me
I've been losing sleep and sometimes it's so hard to see the vision clearly
Clearly
Mama I'm so afraid
Mama I'm so afraid
I try to do what's right but Satan won't go away
Feel like I wasted time
My mind was led astray
Don't say I told you so
If I just stayed in school and studied
Damn I should've studied
I was just too busy tryna get Evy to love me
I don't really get it girl you must think I'm ugly
I can't think of any other reason so it must be and lately I just
Stopped talking so I don't dig myself a bigger whole
My unconscious actions have left me with a bitter soul
Been searching high and low far and wide for peace of mind
She said everything will be what it's meant to be in time
I've been tryna get it all together
Cuz I don't wanna feel like this forever
And alcohol won't make it any better
All that does is add to the stress and I don't need to be more depressed
Whenever you're going through something
Sometimes you gotta like
Step back and sometimes you've gotta look in the mirror
Like somebody told me recently that
Some people are just in your life to teach you a lesson
It's like God just sends them to show you what you can't see by yourself
Lately I've been hella stressing
Steady working on progressing
I need to go back to school so they can teach me how to count all my blessings
Know we all got demons
Know we all got seasons
Things don't always work out
Know we all got reasons
They say that time heals all wounds but
Some things are hard to forgive
All of us live with regret
Not everyone can forgive and forget
I just wanna be the best I can be not a secret I wear my heart on my sleeve
That's why I always got this hoodie I'm always breaking my own heart when I think of what could be it should be
Things are moving hella fast
Love is a thing I'm still tryna grasp
Know in my heart that she would never cheat but knowing my head it always gotta ask
When I'm tripping and I ain't thinkin logical I know God'll get me through any obstacle
She hyped me and made me feel unstoppable leaving her for someone else isn't possible
I don't know what else to do
So much emotion I gotta push through
We all gotta learn to be on our own but whoever said that one's better than two
What's different for you
Is it a blessing in disguise
I don't see it in my eyes
So I stay focused to prove I ain't like the others I'm at war with myself I might not recover
I'm okay I'm okay that's what I tell myself
I'm afraid I'm afraid just to ask for help
Yea
Look
God I messed up
Now's the time I fess up
This is not something that I can sugar coat or dress up
Every day it hurts
And on some days I heal
But most days I just can't escape the way I feel
Like I'm never good enough
Like I'm too broken to fix
Hear other people's opinions and get caught up in the mix
Sometimes the timing is wrong
It's sad but I understand it
Father help me cuz this season just isn't the way I planned it
You know when I get low
You know how dark I can get
When I don't see things getting better and I just want to quit
But I don't have the strength for suicide
I know my life matters but I need you to save me when I lose grip climbing the ladder
Will you ever forgive me
Will things be how they should
Do you plan to come back to me will you leave me for good
I know you try to protect me from things you think I can't handle
I never thought you would become unfaithful caught in a scandal
But I'm tired of feeling defeated
Tired of feeling down
Tired of feeling deleted you answer without a sound
We always knew you wouldn't last
That's what they telling me now
Telling me to move on but nobody's telling me how
God tell me what to do
How do I make it right
I don't wanna give up
I wanna stay and fight
You don't answer me no more
So now I'm forced to subtweet
Now I don't think you trust me
Now I don't think you love me
Father do you love me
Father do she love me
It's meant to be it must be
Cuz if that's not reality then it'll crush me
Sorry I just had to prolonged this
I just gotta be honest
Told your mama I really love you she felt so astonished
Swear on me I planned on doing everything that I promised
Didn't even know ourselves how could we know each other
I wrote some things about your family and everything that we can be
I guess I'll put it on the highest shelf of the pantry
I know we both have to grow
I just wish that didn't mean we had to go

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